Growing up in the suburbs for the majority of my life, I was taught (programmed) to believe that in order to be “successful”, one must attend and graduate college. Needless to say, college was never an option for me. It was the ONLY choice. I didn’t know how I was going to get there, but I knew I was going. Not only did I go to college, I chose one of the most expensive colleges there is (and you’ve probably never even heard of it… go figure!). As I inch closer and closer to Destination: Graduation, I find myself asking me… “Why?”
Don’t get me wrong, I don’t regret going to college. Could I have picked a cheaper school? Yes. Could I have stayed in state and saved money? Yes. Could I have gone the community college route and worked diligently to pay my own tuition? Yes. BUT… I didn’t. I could be bitter and live angrily in the past, condemning my overzealous, under-experienced 18-year old self (with his irrational desire to be grown and live in Manhattan), but I believe we attract exactly what we need to grow, learn, and build. To put it simply, I wouldn’t be who I am today were it not for me enrolling at that (damned) school.
As I tell my mom when she recites her famous “I should’ve made you stay in-state” speech, I could’ve went to a state school somewhere in New Jersey and been shot to death, or developed a drug addiction (shut up, that doesn’t count), or any other conceivably negative scenario. Maybe this all happened for some big, esoteric reason that we cannot grasp at this very moment. We can shoulda-coulda-woulda til the vegan cows come home (that could take a while!), but it will never change the fact that I chose an expensive, out-of-state college.
Let me make one thing clear: I do not come from a wealthy family. While life was never a struggle for us (at least not to my knowledge), we were and still are far from affluent. I was fortunate enough to have a generous, hard-working, self-sacrificing, single [Aquarian] mother on my side. Regardless of how comfortable my childhood was, there was no way we were ever able to pay my full tuition (approximately $40,000 a year) out-of-pocket. Enter: loans.
Scorpio rules other people’s resources. Those resources include (but are not limited to) wills, inheritances, legacies, stocks, taxes, scholarships, grants, and loans. As a Scorpio [sun, mercury, venus, and pluto], I have the gift of sensing hidden potential in others and bringing them to the surface (if I so choose). In turn, I reap (some of) the benefits of their hard work. I’ve always received everything I needed, as well as everything I wanted, so I’ve never really had to stress much about financial aid of any kind. That is until Saturn arrived.
Saturn has been in Scorpio since October 2012, and will remain there uninterrupted until December 2014 (and again for a few months in 2015!). Known as Father Time, Saturn rules boundaries, fear, karma, structure, and responsibility. Let’s just say if this were high school, Saturn wouldn’t be voted Most Popular, Best Smile, or Class Clown. Saturn would be too busy doing extra credit research assignments to even bother with superlatives. Get the idea? Basically, wherever you find Saturn is where you find your life being slowed down and your foundation being tested on a daily basis. With intensely sober Saturn in Scorpio, we are being forced to reconsider our approach to handling other people’s resources, especially money, as to avoid wastefulness, entitlement, and dependence. As a Scorpio, I am directly, personally affected by this transit. Boy, is it heavy.
I was warned by many to be careful of borrowing so much money. I am hardheaded, though, and I only learn through my own experiences. As I approach my final semester of college, the reality of what I owe starts to materialize, and I wish I would have listened to them. What was once an intangible amount of money, floating harmlessly somewhere over the rainbow, is now a big, blood-red dollar sign that I can see marching militantly over the horizon, growing overwhelming larger with each day that passes. “No wonder society labels you a failure if you settle for anything less than a bachelor’s degree,” I think to myself, as I sit thinking about the debt I have accumulated. Believe what you want, but I’m not one for coincidence. College is a stone cold business, “education” or not.
Money makes the world go round, and from what I’ve learned, school is no exception. It’s too late to turn back now, so I’m going to keep running, with my diploma in one hand and my big, red dollar sign in the other. More than any class I’ve taken, the institution (scam) of college itself has been the biggest, most major lesson I have learned in my entire undergrad career. If nothing else, I have learned to be a lot more realistic [Saturn] about what debts [Scorpio] I choose to incur, how long I will be stuck repaying them, and what freedoms I’ll have to sacrifice in the process. With Destination: Graduation in May, it’s almost time to pay the price for my education.
Saturn is notoriously tough [especially in Scorpio]. He forces you to own up to your decisions and deal with the consequences. On the positive side, Saturn puts you to work and yields real, quality results like no other. Those who survive Saturn transits come out stronger, wiser, and a lot more mature. I know this transit will only make me stronger, because it sure as hell won’t kill me.