Three years ago today, my maternal grandmother was killed in a car accident. The loss of my granny (I called her granny) showed me that everyone deals with death differently, on their own time. Death for me is tricky, because I’m not comfortable with open, unpredictable displays of emotion. Death, especially it happens so unexpectedly, is a trigger for all types of emotions. My method of coping is to remember her spirit. She was down to earth with a great love of life. When I think of my granny, I think of her sense of humor. She was very playful.
Last time I talked to her, I told her I would stop by her new apartment and visit her next time I was home from school. She was right there with me when I moved into my freshmen dorm on 55th street, providing me with a proud, enthusiastic send-off. I came back home for Spring Break expecting to see her at some point that week. I did not expect to see her the next week, lying in a casket.
Last week, I attended another funeral, that of my maternal great-grandmother, Grandmom Betty. This time we were a little more prepared. She was 80-something, and had just fallen terminally ill. Last month when my granddad was in town, he asked me to help watch his mother while he stepped out. I was a little nervous, as I am not used to taking care of people, especially elderly people. Besides, I wasn’t as close to Grandmom Betty as some of my cousins, so I was worried she wouldn’t recognize me. After missing out on the chance to see my granny as I promised, I decided to spend some time with the matriarch of my mother’s family.
She didn’t recognize me. My cousin Roxanne told me at her funeral. “Who was that?” Grandmom Betty asked.
“That’s Nichole’s son, Nicholas.” Roxanne told her. Her face lit up. She remembered.
Mercury is in Pisces. Mercury, the messenger, represents our thought patterns as shaped by the people in our daily environment, such as immediate family members. Pisces, the fish, represents loss, surrender, and other karmic endings. Today, with Mercury in Pisces, I choose to remember and honor my ancestors. In my own way. In my own time.
I’m interested in creating new ways of celebrating the life of my late loved ones. Something completely unique and festive. Energy never dies, so these people are always with us. Life is transition, and I choose to embrace that.
Now, I am going to research how to pour a libation.