pouring libations: mercury in pisces [astroloco]

Three years ago today, my maternal grandmother was killed in a car accident. The loss of my granny (I called her granny) showed me that everyone deals with death differently, on their own time. Death for me is tricky, because I’m not comfortable with open, unpredictable displays of emotion. Death, especially it happens so unexpectedly, is a trigger for all types of emotions. My method of coping is to remember her spirit. She was down to earth with a great love of life. When I think of my granny, I think of her sense of humor. She was very playful.

Last time I talked to her, I told her I would stop by her new apartment and visit her next time I was home from school. She was right there with me when I moved into my freshmen dorm on 55th street, providing me with a proud, enthusiastic send-off. I came back home for Spring Break expecting to see her at some point that week. I did not expect to see her the next week, lying in a casket.

Last week, I attended another funeral, that of my maternal great-grandmother, Grandmom Betty. This time we were a little more prepared. She was 80-something, and had just fallen terminally ill. Last month when my granddad was in town, he asked me to help watch his mother while he stepped out. I was a little nervous, as I am not used to taking care of people, especially elderly people. Besides, I wasn’t as close to Grandmom Betty as some of my cousins, so I was worried she wouldn’t recognize me. After missing out on the chance to see my granny as I promised, I decided to spend some time with the matriarch of my mother’s family.

She didn’t recognize me. My cousin Roxanne told me at her funeral. “Who was that?” Grandmom Betty asked.

“That’s Nichole’s son, Nicholas.” Roxanne told her. Her face lit up. She remembered.

Mercury is in Pisces. Mercury, the messenger, represents our thought patterns as shaped by the people in our daily environment, such as immediate family members. Pisces, the fish, represents loss, surrender, and other karmic endings. Today, with Mercury in Pisces, I choose to remember and honor my ancestors. In my own way. In my own time.

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I’m interested in creating new ways of celebrating the life of my late loved ones. Something completely unique and festive. Energy never dies, so these people are always with us. Life is transition, and I choose to embrace that.

Now, I am going to research how to pour a libation.

equality, partnership, and gay marriage: full moon in libra [astroloco]

What is marriage? That is the question many have been asking for years. Yesterday, the Surpreme Court began two days of arguments regarding the hot topic of marriage equality for the LGBTQ community. It looks like those in question are on the edge of some much-needed clarity.

Libra is the sign of partnership and marriage. With today’s Full Moon in Libra (opposing the Sun in bold, trailblazing Aries), relationships of all kinds are being illuminated. The illumination of the Full Moon leads to all types of revelations, discoveries and sudden shifts in consciousness, as we are able to see growth in the seeds we have previously planted. The moon is the archetypal mother, and when she’s full, it’s like she’s giving birth. The Full Moon is a culmination of sorts.

After years of fighting for civil rights, the LGBTQ community and heterosexual supporters of gay marriage are nearing the moment of truth. Is it any coincidence that the final stretch of this uphill battle began the day before the Libra Full Moon? Fortunately, Libra also represents compromise, equality, and justice, so maybe the government will play nice and put an end to the ban on same-sex marriage.

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Whether you’re for or against gay marriage, one thing is for sure; your definition of marriage will never be the same. Gay, straight, or other, relationships as we know them are being redefined as we progress into a new age. While it seems most people are spending their Libra Full Moon celebrating a highly anticipated change, some others will undoubtedly find themselves stuck, asking the question, “What is marriage?

you, through the eyes of another: full moon in libra [astroloco]

When one person says something about you, it is an opinion. When two people say that same thing about you, it is still an opinion. When three people say the same thing about you, it might be time to listen to their opinion.

Somewhere between being told I’m “too uptight” and I “dance like Carlton”, I came to the conclusion that I need to loosen up. I was a little defensive considering these comments were made by people who were just meeting me. To know me is to love me, and they definitely didn’t know me. How, then, could they possibly judge me fairly? By the same token, I know first impressions are valid in their own (relatively important) way. Regardless, they made me wonder what type of energy I project.

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The way we project who we are onto others is represented by Aries. Aries is the first sign of the zodiac, therefore equivalent to the first impression. Libra, Aries’ polar opposite sign, represents other people and the way see them. Partnerships of all kinds are ruled by Libra. We are in Aries Season, which means the sun [along with Venus, Mars, and Uranus] is in Aries. The moon is currently in Libra, which means we are experiencing a sun/moon opposition, better known as a Full Moon. This Full Moon in Libra illuminates autonomy, diplomacy, and conflict resolution. In order to avoid succumbing to the lunacy of these opposing energies, we must balance Aries’ aggressive self-involvement with Libra’s harmonious consideration.

Instead of becoming defensive (which is my impulse), I am now appreciative of the opinions of others, whether negative or positive. The perspective of another person is valuable because it is (usually) way more objective than your own. Don’t get me wrong- Just because 13 people say you’re ugly and fat doesn’t make you ugly or fat (especially since adjectives like those are mere perceptions). I have, however, learned a lot about myself through my interactions and social exchanges, even if indirectly. Now I just have to learn how to loosen up.

Any suggestions? 🙂

full moon [libra]

FULL MOON in LIBRA
(March 27, 2013 @ 5:28 AM)

Illumination:
Autonomy, diplomacy, conflict (resolution)

Reflection:
Have you been charging headfirst into matters without proper deliberation?Have you alienated other people with your aggressive impulses? Have the projects you’ve initiated failed to attract interest?

Solution:
“Actively inspire others as a leader by being balanced and considerate.”

guilt [freewrite]

One thing that bothers me is being blamed for something I didn’t do.

When I was in pre-school, I was wrongfully accused of saying “kiss my butt” on the school bus ride home. I did say the word “butt”, but never told (nor asked) anyone to kiss it. That would have been completely out of character for me. The bus driver’s aid misheard my juvenile conversation, and took it upon herself to tell on me.

I was beat with a belt by my relative with whom we lived at the time. It wasn’t a bad beating, and she was just disciplining me as far as she knew. The point was and is I never said “kiss my butt.” I was punished for a crime I never committed. Made to feel guilty when I was innocent. Worst of all, nobody believed me or defended me when I told them my truth. I think sometimes I underestimate the long-term effect this incident had on me as a being, especially since I was only a child. How might I find myself reenacting this moment, even to this day?

Although my family and I will occasionally laugh about it and I’m pretty sure I got some type of half-assed “sorry”, I still feel like I never received a serious apology. I can laugh about it, but there is definitely a part of me that is still angry. I don’t know what could resolve these feelings. Maybe venting about this memory will serve as an elixir.

When people make big deals out of situations that I perceive as relatively unimportant, I have to remember that we all have “kiss my butt” stories. In Astrology, I believe childhood trauma is represented by Chiron, the wounded healer. The pain experienced as a result of Chiron gives us to ability to help others experiencing similar pain, even if we can’t seem to help ourselves.

If you were wondering what I actually said on the school bus, I was simply explaining to my seatmate that “boo-boo does not mean butt.” O, childhood.

doing vs. being: mars in aries [astroloco]

Is there a difference between doing and being? If so, what is it and what does that mean to you?

I searched to The Free Dictionary and looked at the first definition of both verbs.

Do
1.
a. To perform or execute: do one’s assigned task; do a series of business deals.
b. To fulfill the requirements of: did my duty at all times.
c. To carry out; commit: a crime that had been done on purpose.

Be
1. To exist in actuality; have life or reality: I think, therefore I am.

Verbs are action words. Action is the zeitgeist of the next month or so now that Mars is in Aries, which is one of the two signs that it rules. This transit is one of great physical energy, impulse, and vigor. You will MOVE. You will GO. You will feel more MOTIVATED than usual,  and take the INITIATIVE to WIN the object of your DESIRE.

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If this excites you, wait until Aries Season officially begins! Once the Sun, Mercury, and Venus join Mars [and slow-moving Uranus] in an Aries stellium, the urge to act will be even stronger. How you act, though, could be altered by your vocabulary and the way in which you manipulate language.

Words are spells that can get us in a bind if we don’t know how to use them. When you talk, it is imperative to realize what you are saying. Are you setting yourself up for failure with what you speak? If not, keep on talkin’ that talk!

What words do you avoid, if any? Please share them and let me know why! Speaking of words, Mercury [in Pisces] is now direct after its first retrograde of the year. If you’ve been mentally lost in the abyss, look forward to some much-needed clarity and a lot less confusion.

bide [poetry]

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Stomp the clocks and let the time go by
Kill a bug and beg the lord to forgive you
Suppress the truth in favor of the lie
And I will keep waiting

Hidden underground
Just like a buried child
This is another disaster

Explode the mine and watch diamonds go missing
Rustle the feathers of a flaming bird
Disrupt the vibe to spread the word of religion
And I will keep waiting

Trees cry maple tears
Cut down to reveal the years
This is another disaster

Inflict disease, it’s just a vaccination
Enslave the race and pray they stay in chains
Destroy the books and spread misinformation
And I will keep waiting

As your world boils over in a steam sublime
I will be biding this concept called time
In my most natural state, unbothered

Unshackled

mars [aries]

MARS in ARIES
(March 11 – April 20, 2013)

After a long Hero’s Journey through the zodiac, our beloved warrior Mars is back at home in Aries. Don’t get too comfortable, though. There is another war to be won (as always), and it damn sure isn’t going to win itself. Step up the front line and FIRE!