“I’ll never trust you if you’re thinking that it’s just a game.”
What a morning. Like a hangover, I didn’t feel the intoxicating effects of the Full Moon in Pisces until today. Glad to finally be home after a night at Union Transfer in Philadelphia [a Scorpio city] seeing the Washed Out show. It was quite the experience.
In other news, I think it’s time for me to acquire a new phone. Whatever I intended to prove by going without has been proven, I believe, and now it’s becoming a slight inconvenience to be so disconnected. Allow me to explain.
As most of us know, concerts always take longer than expected. By the time the show ended last night, I had missed my train back to Atlantic City, and I’d have no ride home if I took the next one. I decided then to stay the night at my friend’s house, although I was reluctant because I would have to wake up at 7 AM with her as she left for work. I had little choice, so that’s what I did. Boy, did I take having a car for granted when I had one.
After we said our goodbyes and she rode off into the distance on her bike, I decided to walk all the way from her North Philly home downtown to 30th Street Station. As I mentioned in a previous post, I love walking (especially in big cities), plus I had time to kill, so I had no problem walking and saving bus fare. Little did I know I would be walking for 3/4 of the daylight hours. I got lost in the awesomeness of City Hall, missed my Market Street turn, and ended up walking all the way to South Street before I admitted to myself that I should ask for directions. After an hour and a half of walking, I finally made it to the train station.
Being completely candid, I’m having a “too soon” moment so I’d rather not finish recounting this story in its vivid entirety (believe me, I can get vivid). Let’s just say I arrived in New Jersey with no ride to my house, and with no prospects for a taxi or bus (and no phone to find one), I was stranded in suburbia for 4 hours. After walking aimlessly from the train station, I ended up sitting hopelessly in Five Guys for an entirely too long 2 hours. After being treated to free fries and cold water, my mom finally rescued me on her way to work. I was able to call her 2 hours prior at the local dollar store.
I have asked many people to use their phones since losing mine back in April, and it is always interesting to see how they will react, as I am literally putting myself out there to be rejected. Most people have phones, and I think have sense enough to know who does and who doesn’t before I approach anyone, but who is willing to share definitely depends on their impression of me and my intentions.
A realization is merely a reflection of The Truth that lives within. It is known, and while it can be forgotten, it will always be remembered. When one falls unconscious, awareness will reveal itself in an awesome illumination.
Don’t be fooled by The Illusion of distance, because every division is a connection misunderstood. What seems separate is essentially the same. A line blurred by design, all difference dissolves into its thinly veiled disguise.
STARS & SYMBOLS
Basic Shapes: Line
The line, like the number 2, is a symbol of division as well as a symbol of connection. Continue reading
I don’t usually reblog, but THIS.
Some of you may know this about me, some may not. Despite having spent the last 15 years as a PR & communications professional, my college degree is in theatre. I have never in my life taken a marketing class, or a journalism class, or a business class. Yet, by most measures, I’m enjoying a successful career in business. “So what?” you ask… read on.
I was having a conversation with my friend Sara this week. She’s an actress. Like most actresses, she also has a Day Job that she works to pay the bills between acting jobs. This is the reality for most working actors in LA, New York and the other major centers of the entertainment industry. She was pointing out to me that she viewed her theatre background as a weakness in her Day Job career field, and that it was holding her back. She asked for…
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A field of fragrant flowers is unforgiven by me at the offensive sight of a tiny fruit fly. A single stray note slaughters the sonic sweetness of the most sophisticated symphony. A night of noteworthy novelty means nothing if even one nuance goes neglected.
Sometimes I let the smallest things get under my skin.
Earlier in the week, I let something someone said get to me. My mom is an employee of NJ Transit, so I occasionally ride the bus to work for free, like this past Sunday. As I was catching up with the bus operator, a family friend, the topic of school came up as it usually does. When asking about my younger sister’s senior year of high school and impending undergraduate adventure, she expressed her strong suggestion for my sister to attend a state school to avoid making “the same mistake” I made. The same mistake.
One man’s mistake is another man’s destiny. The difference depends on one’s capacity to create solutions from perceived problems. It’s no secret that I’ve put myself in some situations that were more difficult than necessary, but I don’t believe them to be “mistakes”, because I am still here and I am still learning lessons. Everything happens for a reason as far as I am concerned, and as long as it is happening to me, I’m the only one who has the right to determine whether or not it is a mistake – whatever it is.
STARS & SYMBOLS
Basic Shapes: Dot
The dot is the difference between nothing and everything. No matter how simple this symbol may appear, it all starts here. What better way to begin this journey? Continue reading
And the cycle begins again…
I experimented with the art of playlist-ing back in high school, but it wasn’t until my first few weeks as a college freshman that I began making monthly playlists. When I made the first one in September 2009, my intention was not to ritualize, but to capture the milestone, the moment, the music. I enjoyed it so much, I decided to do it again, and again, and again…
4 years later, I am still making them. My plan was to organize music on a monthly basis so that by the time I graduated, I would have 4 years worth of playlists, kind of like a sonic scrapbook of my undergraduate experience. As we all know, my plan was derailed when I was financially forced to postpone my final semester, extending my 4-year plan into the unforeseeable future. Continue reading
i could always just accept it, but…
light reflected on fragments is blindingly revealing
especially to someone so used to concealing
the same main thing that’s in need of some healing
stealing the courage to be
to live a simple life
down to earth
it’s so hard to feel settled
when i’m sitting on a balloon that’s been dipped in metal and coated in acid
attracted to the highest altitude in the blackest kettle of a void
floating away in a far off place
to live feels like a disgrace
but i’ll be complacent if you give me what i need
the space to breathe
the time to grieve
and one last private retreat into the secret smut shop in the back alley of my amygdala
as it secretes a million neurotoxins that are surprisingly simple to spell
please don’t tell