What a morning. Like a hangover, I didn’t feel the intoxicating effects of the Full Moon in Pisces until today. Glad to finally be home after a night at Union Transfer in Philadelphia [a Scorpio city] seeing the Washed Out show. It was quite the experience.
In other news, I think it’s time for me to acquire a new phone. Whatever I intended to prove by going without has been proven, I believe, and now it’s becoming a slight inconvenience to be so disconnected. Allow me to explain.
As most of us know, concerts always take longer than expected. By the time the show ended last night, I had missed my train back to Atlantic City, and I’d have no ride home if I took the next one. I decided then to stay the night at my friend’s house, although I was reluctant because I would have to wake up at 7 AM with her as she left for work. I had little choice, so that’s what I did. Boy, did I take having a car for granted when I had one.
After we said our goodbyes and she rode off into the distance on her bike, I decided to walk all the way from her North Philly home downtown to 30th Street Station. As I mentioned in a previous post, I love walking (especially in big cities), plus I had time to kill, so I had no problem walking and saving bus fare. Little did I know I would be walking for 3/4 of the daylight hours. I got lost in the awesomeness of City Hall, missed my Market Street turn, and ended up walking all the way to South Street before I admitted to myself that I should ask for directions. After an hour and a half of walking, I finally made it to the train station.
Being completely candid, I’m having a “too soon” moment so I’d rather not finish recounting this story in its vivid entirety (believe me, I can get vivid). Let’s just say I arrived in New Jersey with no ride to my house, and with no prospects for a taxi or bus (and no phone to find one), I was stranded in suburbia for 4 hours. After walking aimlessly from the train station, I ended up sitting hopelessly in Five Guys for an entirely too long 2 hours. After being treated to free fries and cold water, my mom finally rescued me on her way to work. I was able to call her 2 hours prior at the local dollar store.
I have asked many people to use their phones since losing mine back in April, and it is always interesting to see how they will react, as I am literally putting myself out there to be rejected. Most people have phones, and I think have sense enough to know who does and who doesn’t before I approach anyone, but who is willing to share definitely depends on their impression of me and my intentions.
Pluto [transformation] resumed direct motion today, after a 6 month retrograde period. Labeled the Lord of the Underworld, powerful Pluto rules extreme circumstances that call for intense penetration of the occult realm and exposition of hidden motivations and secret desires. Because Pluto compels us to become conscious of what is done in the dark (kind of like how Shady Sun shines a light on the shadow ;)), we know exactly what needs to be released to elicit evolution, changing detriment to dignity.
When Pluto is retrograde [moving backward], we become the subject of our own psychological plumbing as this probing energy is expressed inwardly. The retrograde, which started in April, has been a time of great death and rebirth on an internal, even private level. Now that Pluto has gone direct, we are like snakes who have just shed skin, so it is clear to see who is cold-blooded, and more importantly, why.
I asked more than 5 people (some of which were on duty employees) to use their phones today. Some were helpful, others were not. While I am aware that I am not entitled to any favors, especially since I am a complete stranger who could be capable of all kinds of corruption, I still feel enraged when I am not trusted enough to be deserving of help.
2 of the girls who I asked told me they had no phone for me to use, then proceeded minutes later to display their phones tauntingly. I took it personally, but I know it’s not about me. It’s about survival, and the snap judgments that must be made to avoid falling casualty to a criminal. Those judgments are made based off of hard-learned lessons, and even though I am the only one who truly knows the forces that bubble like molten under my placid surface, I would be selfish to deny someone the right to make their own assessments. After all, we’ve all lived through our own traumas, which means we all have our own triggers.
My intention is not shoot or kill or rob or steal or anything like that, and thankfully that is apparent to some people. As for the rest of them, it’s okay, because I will begin looking for a new phone. Part of the reason I resisted was to defy conformity and reclaim control over my life, but the 6 months I went without a mobile phone taught me plenty of priceless lessons, and they won’t be washed out by a couple calls, some texts, or even a voicemail (and let me tell you… I hate voicemails).