opposite of addiction: pisces new moon [#StarsAndSymbols]

every sign has a low and high vibration. the quality of expression depends entirely on the individual. as the moon inches closer to its union with the sun in pisces, we are affected by an intensifying concentration of this inundating energy. many of us are being consumed by the cosmic atmosphere, so let’s take a moment to reflect on the fish…

pisces, the final sign of the zodiac, represents the transition between this world and the other world, with all the mysteries and magic one would imagine. straddling dimensions makes for an impressionably susceptible spirit, so piscean types require periodic escape from the day to day drama in order to purge themselves of other people’s energy. one of the traps that trips pisces up is addiction, as it can lose itself in the temporary satisfaction of some substance or distraction [alcohol, drugs, tv, religion, porn, food, gambling, etc], ignoring the issue without ever solving it. it can be a vicious cycle of self-sabotage, one that can be avoided by tuning our frequency to pisces’ higher vibration. but first, i believe we must answer this question:

what is the opposite of addiction?

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late 2 the rap show: mercury retrograde [#StarsAndSymbols]

prompted by my coworker’s reminder, i purchased last minute tickets to the kanye west show. when new dates were added to the yeezus tour, i suggested we buy tickets for the night of february 22nd, at atlantic city‘s boardwalk hall. we left it at that, or least i did. “seeing papa north west in the flesh would be cool and all,” i thought, but i wasn’t pressed and he didn’t seem to be either. fast forward a month or 2, and we are interested again. so, i invited my dear friend from college, and we bought tickets the night before.

after being surrounded by increasing hostility all week at work, balancing as best as possible in the midst of other people’s feuds, i was relieved to clock out on saturday and get my evening started. my coworker couldn’t find the discounted tickets he was looking for and lost interest again, but my friend from school arrived right after my shift ended. we grabbed a bite to eat at a restaurant called lugo, situated across from my job, on the revel casino floor. we took our time catching up over dinner, since we had not seen each other since right before the new year, trusting that divo-turned-daddy would be late to hit the stage.

turns out we were the late ones. by the time i stopped making wrong turns in my own city and found free parking as an alternative to the $20 casino garage, we made our way to the venue. i swore i heard his voice blaring from the stage as we passed by the concession stands and overpriced paraphernalia, but we concluded it was studio version of his song playing to get the crowd warm and whetted, and so we took the opportunity to empty our bladders. as i walked out of the bathroom, i was encountered by my cousin, an employee of boardwalk hall, and he informed me that the show had already begun. surprised, my friend and i rushed to section 111 row bb to claim our seats, wondering how much of the show we had missed, much to the chagrin of the height-challenged hypebeasts seated behind us.

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my best week: 2/23/14 [#StarsAndSymbols]

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if it’s heavy, give it up. letting go is something we speak of quite often, especially when the south node is called into question, but what exactly are we renouncing? i think it’s easy, especially for me, to dismiss the south node as a karmic black hole, and although it can be, it exists for a reason. the south node of the moon represents the impression that has been left on our soul by past lives. the stuff that comes easy to us, the thing that is so second nature it gives us a stomach ache – that is the south node. when working with this energy, we must be consciously careful not to use it as an excuse to avoid rising to the occasion of a comfort zone crossing challenge. only when we embrace the uncharted territory of the north node – aka the reason we are here in this lifetime as opposed to the last one – will we have the awareness to distinguish the south node’s trash from its treasure, and everything else will start to make sense.

good thing scorpio has the penetrating intuition and unflinching emotional depth necessary to come to such an elusive conclusion. when emotionally invested, scorpio is able to detect and seduce latent potential from its dormant state of slumber, transmuting dark matter into the light of consciousness. it can be mutually profitable for this sign to invest its energy in handling other people’s resources if only scorpio allows itself to forgive injuries, real and perceived. the negative expression of the scorpion is enfolded by hurt, pain, trauma, betrayal, resentment, jealousy, and revenge, so when crossed, this sign will withdraw its resources and withhold valuably vital insights. no matter how intimidating the stinger can be, it is rooted in defensive insecurity and a sometimes overzealous survival instinct, and accepting that will initiative evolution through healing. using our keen psychological comprehension constructively to identify instances in which our own self-destructive tendencies hold us back from uncovering hidden gifts is a definite way to determine what needs to be discarded in order to transcend the turmoil of our lower selves.

the heights of the 10th house suggest we are indeed moving on up. capricorn, the sign of cautious ambition, is associated with this house, so it is no question we are going places as long as we are disciplined and dedicated. capricorn is limitation, meaning it works best within some sort of boundaries, so the 10th house might need the focus of a little restriction to operate at its fullest capacity. unfortunately, in trying to live within its means, capricorn is sometimes stifled by the fear of failure and any other unpredictable outcome. we all have goals, especially in the context of career, but we must first rid ourselves of unsupportive rigidity and irreverent pessimism. the more we realize the power that is and has always been an essential part of who we are, the less we will engage in controlled exchanges and calculated manipulations. there is no need to allow paranoia and doubt to compromise the integrity of our collective character, no matter how unfamiliar the path may be in the pursuit of our passions.

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1 year & counting… [#SpaDayDiaries]

If you would’ve asked me a year ago today if I would have made it this long at The Spa, I would’ve looked at you with the deranged eyeballs of an overwhelmed fatalist. There was just so much being thrown at me, plus I was still reeling from the bad breakup I had with my college. it was an emotional flux indeed, but I knew I had no choice but to begin paying my own way back to school, so I began looking for a job. with no retrograde planet in sight, the stars aligned last February during my application process, and the 19th of this minuscule month in the year 2013 happened to be my first day of training. 365 days later, I’m still here.

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I’m still here, yes, but I’m not the same. I’ve grown and I’ve gone so many places. To have taken this opportunity and endured the highs and lows has been more rewarding than I ever anticipated. Profound is the effect The Spa has had on my life. I’ve learned how to heal, as well as how to sell. I’ve developed patience, and a good dose of urgency. I’ve been shown the benefits of detachment, while at the same time becoming a family unit with my coworkers and clients. They have given me the opportunity to express myself as Swami, not just as Nick who answers the phones and books appointments, as evidenced by the fact that I was booked to host 5 Stars & Symbols Spa Parties.

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Although our prices are relatively affordable compared to the more expensive casinos, The Spa ignited my ever-increasing indulgence in the more luxurious side of life and I have realized that it’s okay to treat myself, a lesson that is still reinforced by my second job selling high-end suits at Hugo Boss. I look at everything as an investment, and if I don’t invest in myself, who else will? I have never felt so valuable in my life.

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(some of my coworkers and i at ashley and stefanie’s baby shower last sunday)

How much longer I will be at The Spa I cannot say. All I know is I appreciate my stay and I wouldn’t trade it for the world. Some days have been horrible, but most have been great. It’s amazing the difference a day makes, but a year is most definitely worth the wait. Thank you Hand & Stone.

forgotten anniversaries [#FreeWrite]

how weird is it how something can so profoundly effect one’s life, only to slowly transcend into the realm of memories. what used to be above the surface has slipped below the line that separate conscious from the subconscious. outside of the jurisdiction of my awareness, i am still being influenced by past impressions, even after the poems i wrote so poignantly to relieve the pressure of my world when it caved in on me.

i used to think about it every second of every day, but not anymore. it comes when it pleases and leaves before i let it get too deep. it is pointless to let blood seep from a wound that should be healed, but i can feel it all over again when i want to, although i don’t know why i would.

it came across my mind today out of pure coincidence. i admit this is the 7th anniversary, but as each year passes, the mental reenactments start to play less frequently. i can rest peacefully knowing that i weathered the storm, transformed, and stand taller today than ever before. sometimes, still, i can’t but explore that moment frozen in time.

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and so i celebrate my shadow, because without it, my shine wouldn’t be as bright.

my best week: 2/9/14 [#StarsAndSymbols]

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what is the meaning of this? i don’t know, but we’re going to figure it out. that is the philosophy of jupiter. appropriately, the largest planet in our system ponders life’s biggest questions, such as “why are we here?” or “am i doing the right thing?”. abstract concepts with no concrete correctness such as religion and morality are represented by jupiter. this grand vibration skips the detailed tidbits in favor of the divinely delivered definition. answers are obviously significant, but the real growth exists in asking the questions. it is fine to have faith in our own conclusions, but pontification is more overbearing than uplifting, and it could very well limit the enlightenment we are seeking. is your dogma showing?

if it is, dress it up diva! style is everything when libra is the sign. we can litigate even of the ugliest cases when we wear our best law suits 😉 the iron fist in the velvet glove is the strategy of the scales, as they know how to importance of being aesthetically pleasing. politics can be dirty, but in a visual culture, an attractive appearance is powerfully persuasive. libra is not usually accused of being deep, but surely it takes a certain introspective depth to keep the surface pretty despite the scary shadows that lurk below. we must first value the perspective of another in order to present our viewpoints in a way that will be appreciated by all parties. if we are unsure how we are being received by others, we can learn from studying our interactions.

the 11th house is the perfect place to research interpersonal dynamics, as it rules over the many associations of our social sphere. groups of like-minded individuals who unite for some singular cause are ruled by the 11th house, so there is an abundance of knowledge that can be found when we learn to relate more individually to our associates, beyond the impersonal camaraderie of a shared idea. the richest relationships are the ones in which we exchange handshakes for hugs.

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my best week: 2/2/14 [#StarsAndSymbols]

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“aphrodite lady seashell bikini, garden panty… VENUS!” the sensual Goddess of Love is setting the mood. the focus is an equal balance of “me” and “you”, considering venus represents the feminine principle of accommodation. the give and the take, the attraction and the repulsion, the have and the have not; all venusian. meeting someone halfway in some sort of rendezvous is highly likely. i also pulled the 7th house, which is associated with venus, so there is no doubt that the exchange of partnership is paramount.

spiritual is pisces, the next card pulled. all things unseen, the things of our dreams and nightmares and illusions, are all piscean. the fish represent the universal oneness that connects us all like an invisible network of heartstrings. impressionable and compassionate, pisces heals other people by absorbing their negativity. selflessness, while obviously admirable, can overwhelm, and sometimes all we want to do is get away. try as we might, it is not easy to escape this sphere of existence (beware of indulgence in addictive substances!) and the burden of the outside energy we may feel obliged to assume. like a lifejacket for the sinking, it may feel like we’re struggling just below the surface, trying desperately to stay afloat.

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