i’ve been locking my hair for a little over a year now, and despite what some may think, such a style can require some heavy maintenance for the past however many hours, i’ve endured the arduous process of getting my hair done, which for me consists of re-twisting what hair people refer to as new growth. growing up in the era of lil’ bow wow inspired boy cornrows, i dread the moment i sit and submit to the torture, as i am what they call “tender-headed.” in other words, my sensitive head hurts a little too easily.
“does any of this hurt?” asked my mom, aka my part-time hair stylist, as the hair in her hand pulled on the perimeter of my scalp.
“yes,” i replied with false placidity, like a professional pain-taker.
“well, i wouldn’t know, you ain’t say nothin!” she admitted. “you gotta let people know when you’re in pain.”
such a simple conversation struck me like a lightning bolt. for whatever reason i have learned how to grin and bear it, thinking this as some sort of strength when it’s more like denial. aside from situations beyond our control, we allow everything that is inflicted upon us when we give silent permission, so it is our responsibility to vocalize the discomfort we feel at any given moment.
mercury, the messenger god of communication, is conjunct [joined together] the wounded healer otherwise known as chiron. in mythology, the centaur chiron, after being dealt irreversible damage, could fix everyone else except himself. now that these heavenly bodies are working as one, we have the strength to speak on our speak on suffering so that it will stop. according to western astrology, mercury and chiron are both transiting the highly impressionable pisces, whose sensitivity makes it susceptible to affliction of all sorts. positively, the fish are able to transcend all aches in the solitude of meditation and merge into the unlimited relief of spiritual release, revitalized by the cosmos with which we are one.
there are many ways to express agony without complaining or playing the victim. be creative! art is therapeutic (art therapy anyone?), as it is a constructive outlet for our inner turmoil. plenty of people use their voice to share their experiences so that other people don’t feel so alone, such as those who create non-profit organizations to raise awareness against abuse. sometimes it’s as simple as standing your ground against your opponent so that whatever it is doesn’t happen again. it is up to us to say when enough is enough, and only then will we make easier what was once tough.
i dedicate this post to my maternal grandmother, Belinda Ann Dillihay, whose physical body life was taken on this day 4 years ago, but whose spirit lives on in each of us. we love you and thank you for giving us life.