1 year & counting… [#SpaDayDiaries]

If you would’ve asked me a year ago today if I would have made it this long at The Spa, I would’ve looked at you with the deranged eyeballs of an overwhelmed fatalist. There was just so much being thrown at me, plus I was still reeling from the bad breakup I had with my college. it was an emotional flux indeed, but I knew I had no choice but to begin paying my own way back to school, so I began looking for a job. with no retrograde planet in sight, the stars aligned last February during my application process, and the 19th of this minuscule month in the year 2013 happened to be my first day of training. 365 days later, I’m still here.

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I’m still here, yes, but I’m not the same. I’ve grown and I’ve gone so many places. To have taken this opportunity and endured the highs and lows has been more rewarding than I ever anticipated. Profound is the effect The Spa has had on my life. I’ve learned how to heal, as well as how to sell. I’ve developed patience, and a good dose of urgency. I’ve been shown the benefits of detachment, while at the same time becoming a family unit with my coworkers and clients. They have given me the opportunity to express myself as Swami, not just as Nick who answers the phones and books appointments, as evidenced by the fact that I was booked to host 5 Stars & Symbols Spa Parties.

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Although our prices are relatively affordable compared to the more expensive casinos, The Spa ignited my ever-increasing indulgence in the more luxurious side of life and I have realized that it’s okay to treat myself, a lesson that is still reinforced by my second job selling high-end suits at Hugo Boss. I look at everything as an investment, and if I don’t invest in myself, who else will? I have never felt so valuable in my life.

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(some of my coworkers and i at ashley and stefanie’s baby shower last sunday)

How much longer I will be at The Spa I cannot say. All I know is I appreciate my stay and I wouldn’t trade it for the world. Some days have been horrible, but most have been great. It’s amazing the difference a day makes, but a year is most definitely worth the wait. Thank you Hand & Stone.

venus retrograde: possession [#StarsAndSymbols]

at what point does what we own begin to own us? how does a possession simply adopt the audacity to possess its owner? all that is not presently appreciated has the ability to depreciate our sense of self-esteem…

we have all we need and them some, so it is surely a sin to let anything go to waste. to embrace what is in our grasp or to give it away is the decision we must make, lest we be greedy and succumb to the insecurity of the hoarder. that which we believe to be held sometimes has a hold on us. naturally, when we are too scared to take out the trash, the smell of garbage will fill the air. why should we be afraid to let go when we have always had all that is required?

this what i have been feeling since venus has been retrograde. as you already know, venus [the goddess of love] clues us into our relations with other people, the give and the take (or lack thereof?), how we share our stuff (physical and non-physical). all of this, of course, is determined by what we hold close to our hearts, our values. venus is what we enjoy, what is pleasurable, what is entertaining, what we attract based on what we have to offer. when venus appears to be moving backward in her retrograde is when we are consumed by circumstances that call for us to (metaphorically and/or literally) clean out our closets.

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new moon: “new year, new me” [#StarsAndSymbols]

i get it, i get it. we’re all over the “new year, new me” people. that seems to be the general consensus at least. you know, those people who we see every year around this time making the same predictable proclamations about the miraculous transformation they will undergo once the threshold of the new year is crossed. i’m sure they mean well, but it only takes a few years of publicly posted empty promises before cynicism replaces support. in other words, “we” are on to “you”… with a vengeance.

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this time around, though, it would be wise to actually respect the now ridiculed tradition of the New Year’s Resolution. why the random reverence you ask? the next new moon happens to fall on new year’s day, and if you know anything about astrology, you know this rare occurrence is too rich in potential to pass up.

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agree to disagree [#freewrite]

Here’s a little piece I wrote back in November of 2012. The sentiment for me is just as strong, if not stronger, as it was when it was written. This was astrologically unrelated at the moment of conception, but it relates to the sky right now with Mars [in Libra] squaring Pluto/Sun/Mercury [in Capricorn] and opposing Uranus [in Aries], causing internal friction that is triggered by (and possibly projected onto) relationships and other external occurrences. On top of that, Venus [in the later degrees of Capricorn] is now retrograde, altering the way in which we relate to others. Some of us are living in a fierce tempest as earthly existence mirrors the tumult of the cosmos, so I feel that this Tumblr post is as relevant as ever, whether or not you agree or disagree 😉

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Agree to Disagree:

“Let’s agree to disagree.”

Hmm… Let’s not. Agreeing to disagree is a copout.

Don’t get me wrong. With my greatest effort, I aim for agreement. It feels great to be on the same page with other people. That said, a little disagreement never hurt anyone. Why sugarcoat the disagreement by “agreeing” to it? That’s just disrespectful. If I don’t agree, I DO NOT AGREE, at all.

It’s not that I don’t see the other point of view. In fact, I think I worry too much about other points of view, as I pride myself on being diplomatic. Unfortunately, diplomacy is not always enough, and we disagree. Disagreement is the inability to muster even the slightest ounce of agreement. If we’re going to disagree, let’s commit to our disagreement. Live in it. Embrace it.

don’t agree to disagree. I disagree. I revel in disagreement.

mars attacks: mars in libra [#StarsAndSymbols]

I feel frustrated.

Maybe it’s the now waning Full Moon in Gemini, but maybe not. Probably is, considering so much has come to light. My real feelings, underneath the “I like it” and the plastic pageant smiles, have been revealed to me, because there’s always another side to the story. Luna said all she had to say, and we are left feeling some type of way.

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As of today, transiting Mars in Libra is square [a tense 90 degree angle] my natal Uranus in Capricorn. Considering Mars will be moving back and forth through Libra well into 2014 due to a retrograde, I can tell this erratic energy, while stressful, will be an insightful glimpse into the aggression that I so often repress as it tries to break through at the most unexpected moments.

Mars is the God of War and all things angry, but Libra is the sign of the peacekeeping diplomat, even if only on the surface. When Mars is in Libra, all its abrasive energy is channeled into balancing the injustices experienced in partnerships. We are generally “nice” in the most forcefully enthusiastic (borderline intimidating) way, but we get fired up at any unpleasantness that disrupts our sense of harmony, as Mars tends to agitate the realm in which it resides [relationships in the case of Libra]. Even so, it can be hard to tell how others really feel since Mars in Libra’s version of “fired up” can very well be passive aggressive instead of outwardly confrontational.

This is provoking something in me that is bringing out my inner rebel [Uranus] that fights against so-called authority [Capricorn]. Where does Mars in Libra fall in your chart [revisit your natal chart and identify the house(s) ruled by Libra]? Chances are, that is where you are experiencing rage, impatience, and the (thwarted?) impulse to assert your will.

Aside from the aspects this red planet is making to our individual natal charts, it is also forming the 4th part of an intense T-Square between transiting Jupiter in Cancer, Uranus in Aries [which has just gone direct after a somewhat stifling retrograde period], and Pluto in Capricorn, which affects all of us to varying degrees. These new few weeks will not necessarily be easy, as squares are considered the most difficult aspect, but this difficulty provides the very motivation needed to overcome obstacles that stand in the way to achieving tangible greatness.

coins flip: full moon in gemini [#StarsAndSymbols]

As much as my mind makes itself, my body can, in one minute maneuver of my mouth, manipulate existence beyond the boundaries of my most solid expectations. An abundance of confidence in my stance still cannot constrict the curious current that stimulates the very wires that keep me alive. I am connected to every facet of my spiritual being just as the fire is connected to the smoke that fills the air.

Are you aware of what I did there?

full moon over water at night

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kanye west – bound 2 [#MonthlyPlaylist]

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When a real nigga hold you down you s’posed to drown.

Kanye West
“Bound 2” Continue reading

taurus full moon: magick, manifest [#StarsAndSymbols]

“What do you want to be when you grow up?” asked the hostess (Kate? Katie?) at Amada, Atlantic City’s very own Spanish tapas restaurant, located in the Revel. I was on getting change for $100 for my manager at my new job before we closed and she was the first face I saw in a sea of slot machines. The plan was to eat here for my birthday back in October, but I was ensconced in the icy inertia of a black hole, the abyss of which I am finally crawling my way out.

“I want to be everything,” I replied, excited to be on the receiving end of such a question.

Tomorrow will make a week since I started my second job at Hugo Boss, also located in the Revel. I reduced my hours at The Spa to accommodate my new full-time schedule, but I plan to balance both. For the first time since high school I am waking up before 9 AM nearly every day to work opening shifts at one job (and subsequently enduring the duration of the day to close at the other), which I never thought would happen. My life as I know it is totally shifting, forcing me to let go of ALL that has been slowing me down. Getting used to my new lifestyle is quite a rush, filling me with a sense of exhilaration that I have not felt since I left New York. As I adjust I frequently find myself in a dream-like state where almost anything is possible. [Maybe it’s my restless Mars in Gemini, but…] I am actually happy to be doubly employed.

Both jobs are at completely different ends of the spectrum. One is geared toward dressing people up with expensive suits and other high-end fashions to look good on the outside, whereas the other focuses on the inner healing power of the therapeutic arts. I work with all guys who only sell menswear at one job, as opposed to the other where I work with all females at the front desk in order to maintain the soft, tranquil ambiance of a massage & facial spa. Don’t even get me started on how I am subjected to chair-withdrawal when I leave the seated pleasure of job #1 to go stand all day at job #2.  The only similarity that comes to mind is that they are both sales-driven. Of course the more I sell, the more I get to help people (albeit in vastly dichotomous ways), and the more money I generate for the business and for myself.

This time last year I worked a week straight for the first time thanks(?) to Hurricane Sandy which left my coworkers stranded in Staten Island, not to mention the convenience of living in the same high-rise building as my work-study job. I was also blessed with a decent refund check that enabled me to do some overdue shopping and lasted me the rest of the semester. Simply put, it seems almost too easy to materialize my desires when working with the energy during this time of year, like magick manifest. If you have the urge to complicate things, don’t. Let it be. If it feels real, it is.

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The Full Moon in Taurus seems to reveal all the different ways we can accumulate or even attract valuable resources, whether they are our own or other people’s. Remember, full moons are always in opposition to the sun, and the sun is now in the mysteriously magnetic sign of Scorpio, ruler of all passions secret and unseen. Whatever prize we covet during Scorpio Season, especially if you have an abundance of Scorpionic energy in your natal chart like I do, seem to materialize with surprising ease. It’s like all the slow & steady work we’ve been doing for the past six months [since the sun was in Taurus] has snuck up on us to give us a pat on the back, a gourmet snack, and the realization of our creative potential. What makes it even better is that the rewards we are reaping are very well-deserved, the result of sharing our talents and bringing out the best in other people. The illumination of this Full Moon makes it clear for us to see what we’re really worth. Continue reading

the shadow before the sun [#ScrambledArt]

something came undone in the last few days of summer, and whatever it was has been disengaged ever since. like the hitch that connects the family boat to the family minivan breaks apart on a bumpy road, we suffered a serious separation, and we may have gone too far to realize what was left behind. as the inevitable cliff of autumn begins to crumble and fall off, taking down everything it once supported with such sinister cynicism, i wonder if we should’ve at least looked back to reclaim what was rightfully ours. still, some part of me believes that if it is gone, it was never ours on which to hold.

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