north node/saturn/venus conjunct [#StarsAndSymbols]

A field of fragrant flowers is unforgiven by me at the offensive sight of a tiny fruit fly. A single stray note slaughters the sonic sweetness of the most sophisticated symphony. A night of noteworthy novelty means nothing if even one nuance goes neglected.

Sometimes I let the smallest things get under my skin.

Earlier in the week, I let something someone said get to me. My mom is an employee of NJ Transit, so I occasionally ride the bus to work for free, like this past Sunday. As I was catching up with the bus operator, a family friend, the topic of school came up as it usually does. When asking about my younger sister’s senior year of high school and impending undergraduate adventure, she expressed her strong suggestion for my sister to attend a state school to avoid making “the same mistake” I made. The same mistake.

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One man’s mistake is another man’s destiny. The difference depends on one’s capacity to create solutions from perceived problems. It’s no secret that I’ve put myself in some situations that were more difficult than necessary, but I don’t believe them to be “mistakes”, because I am still here and I am still learning lessons. Everything happens for a reason as far as I am concerned, and as long as it is happening to me, I’m the only one who has the right to determine whether or not it is a mistake – whatever it is.

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a cokehead president [improv thursdaze]

A COKEHEAD PRESIDENT

Gerald, President of Student Council, might have a drug problem. Also, Susie is a bitch.

learning the same thing twice: full moon/lunar eclipse in sagittarius [astroloco]

One thing that college taught me is that everyone has their own way of learning, on their own time. My process was very different than my classmates. I discovered that no matter how much I was programmed within the constraints of the classroom, I actually had to experience these lessons for myself in real life. Even if I failed an exam or BS’d my way through an entire course, it was not the end of the world, because I knew for a fact that I would get it when I was supposed to get it. For many years I would bust my ass to make the grade, until I finally decided to detach myself from the stiflingly rigid expectations of the American school system. Time, especially linear, is no longer a factor in my education.

Space is also an education non-factor for me. A classroom is anywhere in which we are conscious enough to teach and be taught. Wisdom is not exclusive to mountaintops and Mongolian monasteries. Wanderlust long distance journeys are great, but who says we have to run to the other end of earth to find what we are seeking? Sometimes the most meaningful moments are the stimulating conversations we have with the strangers we meet down the street at the market.

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For the past couple weeks, I have been driving an hour away to the nearest Whole Foods. I love the occasional day trip, but – between gas money and actually buying a week or two’s worth of groceries –  this was way too expensive to become a routine. Yesterday was my day off, and I decided to see what the regular grocery stores in my area had to offer. To my surprise, I found a lot of my favorite brands right in my local ShopRite. The selection, of course, is not extensive as the healthier grocery chains, but it is there for those of us who are looking to align our eating habits with the higher consciousness of the new paradigm. It’s a process, but it is happening.

All of our studies are coming to light under this Full Moon/Lunar Eclipse in Sagittarius. The lessons we have learned, regardless of when and where, have everything to do with who we are and what we believe to be true. I am thankful for all of my experiences, because they are the adventures that have helped me discover myself, even when I felt lost.

Once upon a time, I was supposed to graduate yesterday. Although I didn’t step across the stage at Lincoln Center with the rest of the Class of ’13, I too survived this semester. My phantom leg has finally been severed after 3 months of limping, and I made it through the operation. Instead of trying to walk the way I used to, I am embracing my new gait, because there is no point in learning the same thing twice.

full moon/lunar eclipse: sagittarius [astroloco]

FULL MOON/LUNAR ECLIPSE in SAGITTARIUS
(May 25, 2013 @ 12:26 AM EST)

Illumination:
Education, belief, joy of experience

Reflection:
Are you spreading yourself too thin? Do you think your life lacks substance? Is your intellect being challenged as superficial or unfounded? Have you been sensationalizing the truth to keep yourself entertained?

Solution:
Stimulate the social sphere of your immediate environment by cleverly expressing the truth as you know it and opening your mind to the meaningfully expansive wisdom of other people’s perceptions

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stability of certainty: new moon/solar eclipse in taurus [astroloco]

The New Moon/Solar Eclipse in Taurus asks us “What is the easiest route to get from A (where we are) to Z (where we want to be)?”.

In order to answer that question, we have to make a plan. Each step must be ordered and deliberate so that we can track our progress in a practical manner (as well as motivate ourselves with a small reward at every mile marker). Instead of wasting energy by relying on other people, we should embrace our own natural resources as fuel to further our goals. Any “resource” that is no longer purposeful is simply taking up too much space and needs to be discarded immediately, in the most eco-friendly way 🙂

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No matter how long it takes to get from A to Z, we will surely arrive. The actual arrival will be laudable, but the beautiful stability of certainty is an accomplishment unto itself.

to have and have-not: new moon/solar eclipse in taurus [astroloco]

Yesterday, as I walked to The Spa, I had a moment. It was a moment of overwhelming sentiment. A moment of realization.

I’ve been thinking a lot about my college career and my life in New York City lately. Memories are triggered by songs, pictures, and everything else one could imagine. Some of my favorite moments happened last semester, in the fall of 2012. Something about that fall felt different, magical even. Looking back at it in retrospect, it is almost haunting to me to know that somewhere, in some subconscious, time-irrelevant dimension, I knew that it would be the climax of my (uninterrupted) tenure as an undergraduate. Somewhere deep within my being, I knew that my life as I envisioned it was changing. Destination: Graduation was detouring.

Out of nowhere, it finally hit me. I’ve had three months to integrate my new reality, but for some reason, I felt it a little differently yesterday. As graduation 2013 approaches – with every end of the semester Tweet, finals week Facebook status, and senior portrait post – I have no choice but to accept what should be a simple truth; I will not be walking across that stage with my friends. No matter when or where I finish my degree, it will not be with the same people I met freshman year, and there’s absolutely nothing I can do about it. I feel like I am being left behind. I feel like a forgotten fantasy.

Reality is reality, but my perception of it has shifted so much in this past year. Naturally, I am still processing everything. My schooling was interrupted, but it is not over. It will never be over, no matter what happens, because I am always learning. And I have a plan.

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This week’s New Moon in Taurus [exact May 9, 2013 @ 8:29 PM] is perfect for taking practical steps toward the fulfillment of our desires. It is important to get real about exactly what we want -so real that we can feel it, even before it manifests in the physical plane – so that we can plant the appropriate seeds. Taurus is enduring, so we have to make sure we take the time to set sensible intentions, with the most timeless results in mind.  It might take a while, but it will happen, and it will be so beautiful. Whatever it is.

The 2013 Taurus New Moon doubles as a Solar Eclipse. This means that the moon will cross in front of the sun, temporarily blocking its light from reaching us here on Earth. Symbolically, this means new aspects of our subconscious, feminine nature are being illuminated. With the Sun and Moon in Taurus [along with Mercury, Venus, Mars, and the South Node], this illumination will reveal a lot about we own; our natural resources, our possessions, our money, values, desires, talents, and other goodies we have at our disposal. By the same token, we have the pleasure of determining which of these goodies has gone bad. Considering everything we have to offer, it is more than okay to lighten the load. We are on the road to excellence, after all, so we cannot afford to be slowed down by extra baggage.

It is time for me to let go. Attachment, expectations, ideals. Tears fall as I type, but it is only right to release the tension. It is impossible to move forward if I am anywhere but here, so I decide right now to plant myself solidly, with my arms wide open, willing to accept the gifts God is granting me.

Let’s get it.

focused force: mars in aries [astroloco]

“Don’t try to do two things at once.”

That was probably the best advice I ever received. This moment alone made my internship worth every stress clench, migraine, and early morning subway ride.  Thank you Dramatists Guild. Thank you.

I was downtown, somewhere in the village, running an errand with one of the girls from my internship/college, Melissa. Errands were my favorite part of the internship, because I actually got to leave the Times Square office and venture out into the city, on my own time with no direct supervision. Just the way I like it. Our mission? To pick up a few boxes of plays from John Guare’s apartment.

Little did I know John Guare was the playwright responsible for Six Degrees of Separation,  a famous play that had been recommended to me in 2008 by an acting teaching I studied with in California. Little did I know John Guare’s apartment was full of a ridiculous amount of boxes. Little did I know.

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To expedite the process, I attempted to pick up two boxes at a time. Accidentally, I knocked over another box in the process, which damn well could have started the Downtown Domino Disaster 2012. It might as well have, because he cussed me out.

“No, no, no! Please don’t make this place more of a mess than it already is!” He exclaimed before giving me the best advice of my life that I can recall.

After we corralled all the boxes downstairs, he proceded to help us find a taxi. Well, he tried anyway. None of the cabs would stop for us and our ridiculous amount of boxes. He eventually gave up, flamboyantly, and decided to retire into his luxurious, but cluttered high-rise apartment. First, he shook our hands and told us it was nice to meet us. He smiled at me for what I perceived as an extra nanosecond, which I took as a sign that I will play the role of Paul in a Sex Degrees of Separation revival. Typical.

Although I thought he was a little over the top in his reaction, I couldn’t get mad at his snappy tone. He was right. I would be lying if I said I didn’t scatter my energy. I start off doing one thing, but then something else catches my interest, which often results in a downward spiral of non-productivity and wasted time. I believe an angel came in the form of this famous playwright to tell me to stop spreading myself so thin in order to maximize my potential.

With Mars in Aries, the energy we exert is not only forceful, but focused [not unlike the phallic symbols that represent this astrological pair].

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Both Mars and Aries have a similar sort of tunnel vision, which helps them to win against any odds, especially when these energies are combined for this transit. Some may call this selfish or inconsiderate, but it is what it is. If you want to cross the finish line first, you might just have to skip the water break.

do you believe in magic? [pisces new moon]

A little after midnight, I reached 100 subscribers on my YouTube channel, SHADY SUN. It seems as though it took a while, but in the grand scheme of everything, it happened so fast. I’ve had my channel up for more than three years, but for the first couple years, I didn’t upload very much.

Last year I started uploading videos more regularly, starting with an improv series called Improv ThursDaze. Improv ThursDaze is a creative collaboration between my college friends and I. We did over a dozen improvised skits last year and we had a great time playing with each other. We haven’t done a video in a while, but I know we will soon, and they’ll be better than ever! My newest series is called AstroLoco, which I started last June after a life-changing trip to California. AstroLoco is dedicated to the astrological interpretation of the stars and their cycles. I’ve put the most time and energy into this series, and in turn I have received the most love of all my projects. AstroLoco, out of anything, got me 100 subscribers.

I’m not quite sure where these projects will take me, or what new ventures I will start, but I believe in them. I believe I do what I do for a reason and I am on the right path at the right time for me. It’s beautiful to see the seeds I planted begin to blossom, because I know this is only the glimpse of what’s to come. This process is simply magical.

Today’s New Moon in Pisces is asking you to believe. Disregard doubt and fear and all that negativity. Listen to your heart and your spirit. Honor your intuition, as you are tuned in to something so much bigger than ego. Something amazing that won’t lead you astray. It will lead you to a higher plane if only you let it. Dream big, do what you love, and share it with the world. That’s healing.

Thank you for the support.

time to work [saturn retrograde]

Today, I had my second interview at one of my potential jobs, a small spa in one of the suburbs of Atlantic City. During my first interview, the hiring manager gave me a script to look over. She told me the owner is very particular about his business, so she gave me a couple weeks to memorize the script. “If he says this paper is black, it’s black,” she warned me, holding up a white piece of paper.

I wasn’t originally going to do to the follow-up interview. As soon as I saw the script and heard about the charmingly dogmatic owner, I had second thoughts about the position. Plus, I had a really good interview at a retail outlet last week in Atlantic City and heard from some friends that their hiring manager liked me; said I made her laugh. Since I’m no longer living in Manhattan, I wanted to work in some semblance of a city. Atlantic City’s not much, but it’s something. It’s home, at least.

On the other hand, I would love to work in a spa. The atmosphere is always tranquil, which aligns with my personality. I’ve never had a professional massage, but I am looking forward to discounts and other employee perks. Besides, there are only so many times I’ll be able to put my performance degree to good use working a 9-5 type job. The script reading felt like an audition. I was nervous reciting my lines in the small office (“how was your massage today?”), but she said I was the only one who has memorized the whole thing!

The spa isn’t in the city, but it pays more than the outlet store and it’s full time. Once I hear back from the outlet, I’ll see if it’s possible to make time for both. I didn’t plan on working two jobs, but if I’m going to work this semester instead of finishing my degree, I might as well get money. I start my two week paid trial at the spa tomorrow morning at 8:45.

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Saturn [in Scorpio] turned retrograde this morning. When Saturn retrogrades, we test our foundation for shakiness. Thanks to the inward redirection of this responsible energy, we have the patience to reevaluate, the organization to restructure, and the discipline to follow through on previously existing projects. In general, retrogrades are known to throw a curveball or two. Needless to say, Saturn retrogrades are not the best time to initiate new business ventures, especially when Saturn is in financially-focused Scorpio. Fortunately, all the planets were direct a couple weeks ago when I first applied and interviewed.

It’s funny that I begin working (front desk) at a spa on the first day therapeutic Pisces Season. 2013 has been chaotic, unsettling year so far, but I’ve been adapting and I am looking forward to soaking up the healing vibrations. I don’t know how long it will last or where it will lead me, but this is whole new chapter in my story. My life as I know it has shifted.

back to school [jupiter retrograde]

“You will go back to school.”

That is what the psychic told me last year [right around the time dreamy Neptune dove into the intuitive pool of Pisces]. It was the beginning of my Spring 2012 semester of college, either February or March, and I had just been seduced into an impromptu Lower East Side palm reading. It was my first time and I was conflicted. While some of her insights were debatable, nothing she said was flat-out false. Initially, I dismissed her school prediction. Sure, I had a “situation” the prior semester, but we were able to pay and register. Maybe she was on to something, though, because I’ve had two more of those “situations” since the reading.

Like right now. I’m somewhere in the midst of my six-week winter vacation. The chances of me returning to school for the Spring 2013 semester are slim. We just don’t have the money to pay last semester’s balance, and I can’t register for any new classes until it’s paid. I’ve been trying to find private loans, but I don’t meet the qualifications. If I don’t find a way to pay at least a fraction of my balance in the next week, I will be taking the semester off to live back at home, work, and pay my own tuition for the first time.

I only have one more semester of college to complete to reach Destination: Graduation, so (naturally) I would prefer to go back and get my degree in May. It would just make more sense to get it out of the way. Plus, I’ve gotten so used to city life, the prospect of living back at home full-time is unsettling. It’s like I have to relearn everything I used to know, but in a new era. What makes it worse is that I’m not even coming home with my degree. The last thing I want to do is waste three and a half years worth of time and money by not going back. As we all know, most people who take breaks from school never return.

But some people DO go back to school!

Like my mother, who is now enrolled as a part-time student at the local community college. She got her ID and class schedule yesterday. She briefly attended this same school over 20 years ago, before I was born. The excitement I felt for my mom helped ease the frustration I’ve been feeling toward my own educational experience. Her triumph has indirectly helped me to see the big picture.

Jupiter is big picture. Jupiter [in Gemini] is retrograde [until January 30th], which means it appears to be moving backward in the sky. This is not actually happening, but is instead an optical illusion. Retrogrades are symbolic periods of revisitation, in which we review, redo, and reflect on unfinished business from the past. Planetary energy is temporarily redirected inward, disrupting the external world as we know it. When expansive Jupiter is retrograde, sometimes even the best laid plans fail to launch. Doors that were wide open seem to close right in our faces, prompting us to look inside ourselves for a deeper meaning and a sense of abundance.

Education is ruled by Jupiter [as well as Gemini], so I’d say this Jupiter retrograde [in Gemini] is the perfect time to go back at school. Unless of course you’re like me, and you have to take a break. In that case, I say follow the signs. I know it’s cliché, but everything happens for a reason, in due time. Though I am in limbo right now, unsure and confused about my future, I am open to any outcome. I have the rest of my life to live, more journeys to take, and plenty of time to fulfill my clairvoyant verdict.