a compassionate approach [#FreeWrite]

this is a follow-up or addendum of sorts to my previous My Best Week post, “the alchemist“…

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in order to be thorough in the process of exposing self-sabotaging behavioral compulsions, it is valuable for one to explore them without shame, but instead with genuine, nonjudgmental curiosity. denial of these urges is not as effective ultimately as it would be to let them happen as they do. if we are strong enough to take an objective assessment after all is said and done, with a forgiving approach rather than one of condemnation, we can determine the pros and cons of our potentially destructive tendencies in an efficient way that will surely help to redirect that same energy to be used as fuel for our inherent creativity. Continue reading

the alchemist: 6/29/14 [#MyBestWeek]

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it is easy this week for us to identify exactly where we are losing life force energy by giving away our power. there are many ways we keep ourselves powerless without even realizing it. in order to bring these unconscious tendencies into the realm of awareness, we must honestly assess the interactions and activities that leave us feeling drained.

the crash of disappointment that is experienced after the false fulfillment of temporary satisfaction is an indication that we are wasting our energy on instant gratification and superficially quick results rather than exercising the full potential and focused patience of true power. is it easy to believe that we become more powerful by controlling external circumstances, specifically the people in our environments, but that is untrue. by focusing on manipulation of the “other” to get what we want instead of trusting our ability to successfully navigate any possible scenario, we actually forfeit all self-control, rendering us powerless. when things don’t go our way, many of us hold grudges that affect us adversely while the objects of our contempt are living their lives, unbothered and empowered by our resentment. obsession, addiction, attachment, the list goes on, and these are all ways we unknowingly relinquish our personal power. as the self-sabotage becomes clearer, the next logical step is to change our ways.

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sunny w/ a chance of shade: cancer new moon [#StarsAndSymbols]

there is a transformation that occurs when we express ourselves fearlessly in the moment. the responses that are elicited by living truthfully are testimonies to our inherent power, but only if we claim it as our own. self-engagement can be so enrapturing that it is startling to be confronted by the inevitable reaction of disagreement, as others try to solve our riddles, searching the depths for that thing within us that triggers their own feelings of uneasiness. in those moments it is important for us to recognize our own individual influences, as we are capable of affecting our environment, no matter how our respective presences are received by other people. if we choose to dim our lights and shy away from the awesomeness of authenticity in order to manipulate the external factors, our power is projected, giving it away for others to wield as they wish. when we risk our emotional comfort by embracing the sometimes controversial originality of this existence as it is embodied within us all, despite the adversity we may face from those suffering from their own psychologically projected traumas, then we begin to transcend the darkness with the dawn of limitless light.

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the new moon is exact on June 26, 2014 at 4:08 AM EST in 5 degrees cancer, the mother of the zodiac. as always, the new moon is the beginning of a lunation [lunar cycle] prompted by the conjunction of the sun [ego expression] and moon [subconscious reaction], so it represents an initiation or a starting point. this is a chance to wipe the slate clean and start, and the quality of the start will relate to the realm of cancer [the experience of emotions]. when two planets come together in conjunction to unify as a single energy, the effect can be either volatile or harmonious, or both. it all depends on the other aspects.

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dare to deviate: 6/22/14 [#MyBestWeek]

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on one hand, we are relatively comfortable navigating the familiar terrain of our everyday environments. we know, for the most, what to expect and how to respond. the people who surround us immediately, friends, family, neighbors and classmates have shaped us in ways we don’t even readily realize. the impressions that have been left on us have impacted us subconsciously so that our behavior is a direct result of the communities in which we were raised. every now and then we are shaken up by changing tides, but we learn to go with the flow as it always leads us back to what we know. there’s no place like home. it’s nice here.

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let’s trip: sagittarius full moon/friday the 13th [#StarsAndSymbols]

Friends are good for a great variety of benefits. Many of mine inspire me to be better, bolder, and to grow (it’s in my astrology). In fact, the more I am inspired, the more likely we are to experience a relationship of longevity, as opposed to the brief encounters I have notched in bedposts past. I am often inspired to travel beyond the limitations that normally keep me confined, whether these limits are mental, emotional, spiritual, or physical. As I write this I am in the process of packing (does thinking about packing count as packing?) for my second vacation this year.

I booked my ticket at the last-minute. Part of me thought it would be best not to go, considering I was just got back from New Orleans this past May. I have a full-time position at a high-end retail store in a casino. My friend invited me right when we got back home from our last trip, but “it wouldn’t be responsible for me to go.” That’s what I thought. But alas, something inside me loves to go places I’ve never been, and it’s damn near impossible to restrain. “Fuck it,” I said without opening my mouth as I clicked to confirm my flight. “If liberation is my intention, then I have to be free to roam.”

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I depart on the afternoon of Friday, the 13th of 2014, just hours after the astronomically exact the full moon in Sagittarius. A former coworker and fellow occultist informed me that this is the last Friday the 13th full moon until 2049, and in her words, “Vegas will be fuuuun that nite.” I believe her. As if full moons weren’t already notorious enough, the superstition of Friday the 13th adds an extra dose of Anything Can Happen.

As always, full moons happen once every 30 or so days [month = moon cycle] when the moon opposes the sun in the sky, each one in the same degree of opposite signs. This full moon is in Sagittarius, opposite the sun in Gemini. Oppositions are considered difficult aspects in astrology. They represent potential separation, confrontation, and challenge. Under the opposition of the full moon, it’s like we’re in an intense game of tug of war, being pulled back and forth by two equally strong competitors. In order to express ourselves as individuals [sun] we risk our emotional security [moon], as these two planets are as far away from each other as possible, while us earthlings are in the middle, trying our best to not to go insane [lunatic = luna = moon].

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destiny’s obscurity: moon/north node conjunct [#StarsAndSymbols]

Women have played a major role in my life. Not just one woman, but women… plural. My parents weren’t together when I was born so my mother raised me as a single parent, and for the greater duration of the first decade of my life we lived with various relatives. My most impressionable years were molded by the women who surrounded me, older women to be more specific. It was like a community of mothers, each one with something unique to offer my childhood self. There were men around, uncles and whatnot, but interactions with male figures were never as affirming for me as the matriarchal exchanges.

Naturally, my interests aligned with what most people categorize as “girl stuff” when I was growing up. I loved Destiny’s Child and Disney films like The Little Mermaid. The majority of my friends were girls, especially the ones closest to me. I was a boy, and I had guy friends, but I was never one of the boys. As I made my way through primary school, I faced my fair share of judgment from people who didn’t understand or agree with the way I expressed myself in accordance with my gender, and there were times where I judged myself for not being manly enough. At this point in my life, I still have to make a conscious effort to silence the voice of gender policeman that I allowed to invade my headspace, but everyday I learn to embrace my femininity more than before. Despite whoever has disagreed with my lifestyle, I know now that there is nothing wrong with the way I am, and I believe that my childhood conditioning was meant to prepare me for greatness. Allow me to explain myself…

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There is an aspect in my natal chart that clues me into the grand scheme of who I am in regards to my resonance with the feminine influence. I have a moon/north node conjunction! The conjunction is an astrological aspect that is equivalent to a union and it occurs when two celestial bodies and/or astronomical points come together as one amplified, integrated force. In other words, two separate energies blend and work as one. So what exactly does a conjunction between the moon and the imply that could possibly explain my lifelong interest in the alluring, creative, nurturing essence of opposite sex?

******* FUN FACT: the moon and the north node are currently conjunct in libra as I type… how appropriate! *******

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refine my mind: 6/8/14 [#MyBestWeek]

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The potential to maximize this week lies in the efficiency and effectiveness of our cognitive processes. Focusing on the improvement of our mental faculties will yield the results that will assist us in realizing our highest potential. The way we think, the way we transmit messages, the way we make sense of and apply what we learn affects us personally, as well as those with whom we come in contact, so it is in our best interest to fix what we find to be faulty in regards to our systems of information.

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venus in leo [astroloco]

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VENUS in LEO

Romance, drama, and enthusiasm in love. Relationships are important, so display affection publicly for the world to see. Benevolent leadership is especially attractive and positivity can inspire creativity in others. Embrace your inner child, indulge in some fun, and play the entertaining game of life. If you love it, show it off. If you don’t love it, you will.

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finding familiarity: jupiter in cancer [astroloco]

As I mentioned in my last Spa Day Diary entry, we have a brand new manager at The Spa. I would be lying if I said I wasn’t apprehensive about welcoming her onto our team. I was just growing comfortable with my job when she arrived, and I was nervous she would disrupt what I had grown accustomed to. While she had many positive compliments for us, she wasted no time letting us know how low our numbers were compared to our sister spas. I was worried that her pleasant demeanor was almost too pleasant, and I was waiting for her to snatch off her mask and show her true colors as the Rigid BitchMaster of the Spa Suprème. I was wrong, thankfully, and she is actually one of my favorite managers ever.

Don’t get me wrong; she is definitely about her business. She is quick to let us know where we are falling short and what we need to do, but she does it in a way that encourages us to be better and work harder. I believe our new manager has brought a necessary matriarchal energy to The Spa that complements us perfectly, as our store is owned and operated by a man. Her approach is very different than his, and I find she has enhanced my employee experience already. Because of her, I am more motivated to strive for excellence on the job.

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Like a true leader, she makes it exciting to succeed. We play bingo, and if we sell a certain amount of services, upgrades and products, we win a $15 Wawa gift card. Last month we hosted our first spa party, which centered around essential oils. The spa party was probably the most fun shift of my whole employment at The Spa. I even sold 4 memberships that night, which almost made up for my post-Pittsburgh dry spell. After the Spa Party, my coworkers and I all went to Applebee’s for food and drinks, and it felt like family for the first time.

Now that Jupiter is in Cancer for the next year, we are all seeking the meaning of life in the realm of feelings. Our feelings are influenced primarily by the ones who are close enough to fit in the crab shells we call home, and from this emotional intimacy we gain wisdom, knowledge and philosophical insight into the big picture. It is beneficial to embrace the familiar and the strange alike during this transit, as sometimes we are all in desperate need of a place to belong. Cancer is regarded as the Mother of the Zodiac, and this motherly energy is exacerbated by the transits of the Sun and Mercury [and the New Moon, coming soon] through this nurturing, protective sign.

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a word with my senior self: full moon in capricorn [astroloco]

the cancer/capricorn opposition deals with the dynamic of growing up. cancer is childhood: the privacy of the home environment, where we come from and how we feel about it. capricorn is adulthood: the publicity of the world stage, where we are going and how we plan to get there. to balance this opposition of the full moon in capricorn, we must find a way to bridge the gap of maturity by stripping away the Pamper of insecurity and stepping into the uniform of authority.

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i received an idea on the full moon. although we grow in a multitude of ways over the duration of our lives that might render us unrecognizable to the naked eye, we are essentially the same person. i decided to write a letter to the most full-grown version of myself and I invite you all to do the same. not only is this intimate and inspiring, but it is also a form of creative visualization that is helpful for the intimidating transition from youth to elder. we must take responsibility for our future, but first we must clearly envision it.  here are my words…

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