to have and to use: 9/14/14 [#MyBestWeek]

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the word ‘manipulation’ has a negative connotation, but as with all things, the determining moral factor comes down to intention. as long as there is no ill motivation fueling our actions, there is nothing wrong with pulling the strings so that the puppet dances in alignment with the given choreography. in order to make this our best week, especially if the past few weeks have been less than satisfactory, we need to regain control of our itineraries. many of us have the nagging feeling that our current situations are not quite up to par, but we have the power to manipulate reality. all we have to do is transform our approach to time management.

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go there, but don’t stay: 8/3/14 [#MyBestWeek]

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one of the most gut-wrenching feelings is to desire something or someone so fervently only to have it be snatched away in plain sight. there is little we can do to overcome that anguish, so our only choice is to live with it, to feel it completely. cry if need be. it is important for us to go there, but it would be a mistake to stay. self-destruction and downward spirals are the results of festering sentiment that has found no outlet or expression. if we have it, we have to do something with it, or else it will do something to us.

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the roots & the tree: capricorn full moon [#StarsAndSymbols]

one of the great things about roots is how they provide the tree with the support necessary to uphold its composure as it climbs great heights. if there is no foundation, there is no growth. that said, the fullest way for the tree to honor its roots is to challenge itself to reach higher than it ever has. after all, isn’t that the purpose of planting seeds in the first place?

with the sun in cancer, we are focused on the acknowledgment of the deepest, most familiar facets of our personhood. to nourish and protect the life force within is the instinct that keeps each species going from generation to generation. It may not always make rational sense, but thanks to intuition and the assortment of other gifts stored away in our ancestral goodie bags, we know what we have to do at any given moment to preserve this fragile existence. to sustain our lineage is encoded in our dna.

before we get too comfortable, we must remember that no matter how well acclimatized we are, every season presents its challenges. without the occasional obstacle, the experience of life would be too subjective to sustain the dynamism of authentic expression in all its completeness. that is where the full moon in capricorn, which opposes the cancer sun, comes into play. we are feeling the subconscious call to endeavor toward the practical attainment of worldly accomplishment. our survival skills mean little if we do not at some point assume responsibility for the successful advancement of the family name beyond the home and into the stratosphere of society. the tangible achievements we need to satisfy this obscure hunger are the products of structure, goals, and concentrated motivation.

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ecstatic employment: 7/6/14 [#MyBestWeek]

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being a public example of the precision and efficiency of purposeful self-containment will satiate our karmic desire to progress toward the destiny of this current incarnation. there is something fulfilling about going back to basics and tending to the duties that require our devotion. conditions cannot be improved for anyone or anything unless they receive an adequate amount of tlc, and the survival of the species alone is incentive enough for us to swallow our pride and get to work. the goal is to enhance the community and society, but we must start on an individual level, with the inspiring enhancement of ourselves.

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a compassionate approach [#FreeWrite]

this is a follow-up or addendum of sorts to my previous My Best Week post, “the alchemist“…

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in order to be thorough in the process of exposing self-sabotaging behavioral compulsions, it is valuable for one to explore them without shame, but instead with genuine, nonjudgmental curiosity. denial of these urges is not as effective ultimately as it would be to let them happen as they do. if we are strong enough to take an objective assessment after all is said and done, with a forgiving approach rather than one of condemnation, we can determine the pros and cons of our potentially destructive tendencies in an efficient way that will surely help to redirect that same energy to be used as fuel for our inherent creativity. Continue reading

the alchemist: 6/29/14 [#MyBestWeek]

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it is easy this week for us to identify exactly where we are losing life force energy by giving away our power. there are many ways we keep ourselves powerless without even realizing it. in order to bring these unconscious tendencies into the realm of awareness, we must honestly assess the interactions and activities that leave us feeling drained.

the crash of disappointment that is experienced after the false fulfillment of temporary satisfaction is an indication that we are wasting our energy on instant gratification and superficially quick results rather than exercising the full potential and focused patience of true power. is it easy to believe that we become more powerful by controlling external circumstances, specifically the people in our environments, but that is untrue. by focusing on manipulation of the “other” to get what we want instead of trusting our ability to successfully navigate any possible scenario, we actually forfeit all self-control, rendering us powerless. when things don’t go our way, many of us hold grudges that affect us adversely while the objects of our contempt are living their lives, unbothered and empowered by our resentment. obsession, addiction, attachment, the list goes on, and these are all ways we unknowingly relinquish our personal power. as the self-sabotage becomes clearer, the next logical step is to change our ways.

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dare to deviate: 6/22/14 [#MyBestWeek]

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on one hand, we are relatively comfortable navigating the familiar terrain of our everyday environments. we know, for the most, what to expect and how to respond. the people who surround us immediately, friends, family, neighbors and classmates have shaped us in ways we don’t even readily realize. the impressions that have been left on us have impacted us subconsciously so that our behavior is a direct result of the communities in which we were raised. every now and then we are shaken up by changing tides, but we learn to go with the flow as it always leads us back to what we know. there’s no place like home. it’s nice here.

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my best week: 2/23/14 [#StarsAndSymbols]

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*******

if it’s heavy, give it up. letting go is something we speak of quite often, especially when the south node is called into question, but what exactly are we renouncing? i think it’s easy, especially for me, to dismiss the south node as a karmic black hole, and although it can be, it exists for a reason. the south node of the moon represents the impression that has been left on our soul by past lives. the stuff that comes easy to us, the thing that is so second nature it gives us a stomach ache – that is the south node. when working with this energy, we must be consciously careful not to use it as an excuse to avoid rising to the occasion of a comfort zone crossing challenge. only when we embrace the uncharted territory of the north node – aka the reason we are here in this lifetime as opposed to the last one – will we have the awareness to distinguish the south node’s trash from its treasure, and everything else will start to make sense.

good thing scorpio has the penetrating intuition and unflinching emotional depth necessary to come to such an elusive conclusion. when emotionally invested, scorpio is able to detect and seduce latent potential from its dormant state of slumber, transmuting dark matter into the light of consciousness. it can be mutually profitable for this sign to invest its energy in handling other people’s resources if only scorpio allows itself to forgive injuries, real and perceived. the negative expression of the scorpion is enfolded by hurt, pain, trauma, betrayal, resentment, jealousy, and revenge, so when crossed, this sign will withdraw its resources and withhold valuably vital insights. no matter how intimidating the stinger can be, it is rooted in defensive insecurity and a sometimes overzealous survival instinct, and accepting that will initiative evolution through healing. using our keen psychological comprehension constructively to identify instances in which our own self-destructive tendencies hold us back from uncovering hidden gifts is a definite way to determine what needs to be discarded in order to transcend the turmoil of our lower selves.

the heights of the 10th house suggest we are indeed moving on up. capricorn, the sign of cautious ambition, is associated with this house, so it is no question we are going places as long as we are disciplined and dedicated. capricorn is limitation, meaning it works best within some sort of boundaries, so the 10th house might need the focus of a little restriction to operate at its fullest capacity. unfortunately, in trying to live within its means, capricorn is sometimes stifled by the fear of failure and any other unpredictable outcome. we all have goals, especially in the context of career, but we must first rid ourselves of unsupportive rigidity and irreverent pessimism. the more we realize the power that is and has always been an essential part of who we are, the less we will engage in controlled exchanges and calculated manipulations. there is no need to allow paranoia and doubt to compromise the integrity of our collective character, no matter how unfamiliar the path may be in the pursuit of our passions.

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the part-time porn star: mars in gemini [astroloco]

Have you ever seen someone you know in a porno? I’m not talking about a leaked nude or an amateur, homemade video clip on xtube. I’m talking about a legit porn film, with a script and a storyline and everything. I was minding my own business last night, surfing the forbidden netherworld of the internets, when all sudden I saw a familiar face with a voice that I knew very well. Talk about a curveball!

At first I thought I was trippin. This man on my screen had to be some sort of doppelgänger. He couldn’t possibly be the man I thought he was, seeing as how that man was super professional and too well put together to dabble in something as decadent and lewd as pornography. These, of course, were surface judgments, as I never get to know him that well. He was one of the staff members at my internship and I hardly ever engaged with him. For discretion’s sake I won’t say where I interned in this post (although I have mentioned it previously in another post), but it was a major association for playwrights in New York City with a lot of big name members and councilmen. After some meticulous research, I found out that this “actor” was indeed the man I thought he was.

I was so intrigued by this revelation because I worked in the same vicinity as this guy for a whole semester and never even knew. Naturally, I began to imagine every possible scenario of his double life. Did everyone else there know he was a porn star, and if so, what did they say when they found out? Did he think I knew he was a porn star, and if so, did that excite him? If I did know he was a porn star, would I have been more open to talking to him? Truthfully, I wasn’t very social with anyone at my internship. I felt out of my element because they were all more passionate about theatre than I was. Plus they were all older and mostly of European descent, so there wasn’t much of an immediate common ground. I stayed to myself because I thought of them as elitists of some sort and I never want to say or do the wrong thing. Little did I know my desk was 3 feet away from the office of a closet freak.

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who doesn’t want to belong? – venus in cancer [astroloco]

It’s always a joy to recollect a night out, especially on Day 2 of hangover-recovery. Moments, like the fragmented body parts of the rain-sunken possum floating face down in the flower-pot outside, seem to surface to the top of my consciousness at the most random moments (when I was trying to find a good position not to vomit, for example). Overall, I feel the night was a success, and I mean that in the most liver-inconsiderate way.

You see, I don’t go out very often, so when I do… I really go out. Now that I am currently not in college, I think I try to overcompensate when I get a rare chance to party. It’s like a have a point to prove. My point on Saturday was the VIP section at Haven, a new nightclub in Atlantic City’s Golden Nugget casino.

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After not so subtly sneaking past the Cool Asians’ velvet rope and being subsequently removed, I proclaimed that I would be a VIP by the end of the night. Not that I’m not already Very Important, but um, HELLO…. bottle service and a seat! Who doesn’t want to sit and drink at a nightclub? Who doesn’t want to belong? Between breaking the dress code by wearing shorts (don’t ask me what happened to the pants I got in with), pole dancing during what I think was a sexy Rihanna song, and unsuccessfully VIP’ing myself, I knew I had to be a little more strategic, lest the security guard follow through on his threat to escort me out.

Finally, I spotted my savior. Across the dance-floor from the Cool Asians was a Hot Mom with an empty spot on her Very Important Couch. Instead of appearing thirsty and asking for a drink, I instead asked her if I could sit down next to her – you know, because I was sooo tired of dancing. Surprisingly, she agreed to let me have a seat, much to the disappointment of her not-as-hot friend who kept shaking her head at me.

Hot Mom invited me into her space like some of… mother. Without me having to ask, she poured me a drink as we introduced ourselves. Turns out she actually was a mother and she had bought out the VIP section for her friend’s birthday. I can’t recall her name, but she was nice and we are now Instagram friends. Like breast milk to a hungry baby, Hot Mom pacified my insatiable desire and made my Very Important Dream come true (does this sound Freudian to anyone else?).

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