Yesterday, as I walked to The Spa, I had a moment. It was a moment of overwhelming sentiment. A moment of realization.
I’ve been thinking a lot about my college career and my life in New York City lately. Memories are triggered by songs, pictures, and everything else one could imagine. Some of my favorite moments happened last semester, in the fall of 2012. Something about that fall felt different, magical even. Looking back at it in retrospect, it is almost haunting to me to know that somewhere, in some subconscious, time-irrelevant dimension, I knew that it would be the climax of my (uninterrupted) tenure as an undergraduate. Somewhere deep within my being, I knew that my life as I envisioned it was changing. Destination: Graduation was detouring.
Out of nowhere, it finally hit me. I’ve had three months to integrate my new reality, but for some reason, I felt it a little differently yesterday. As graduation 2013 approaches – with every end of the semester Tweet, finals week Facebook status, and senior portrait post – I have no choice but to accept what should be a simple truth; I will not be walking across that stage with my friends. No matter when or where I finish my degree, it will not be with the same people I met freshman year, and there’s absolutely nothing I can do about it. I feel like I am being left behind. I feel like a forgotten fantasy.
Reality is reality, but my perception of it has shifted so much in this past year. Naturally, I am still processing everything. My schooling was interrupted, but it is not over. It will never be over, no matter what happens, because I am always learning. And I have a plan.
This week’s New Moon in Taurus [exact May 9, 2013 @ 8:29 PM] is perfect for taking practical steps toward the fulfillment of our desires. It is important to get real about exactly what we want -so real that we can feel it, even before it manifests in the physical plane – so that we can plant the appropriate seeds. Taurus is enduring, so we have to make sure we take the time to set sensible intentions, with the most timeless results in mind. It might take a while, but it will happen, and it will be so beautiful. Whatever it is.
The 2013 Taurus New Moon doubles as a Solar Eclipse. This means that the moon will cross in front of the sun, temporarily blocking its light from reaching us here on Earth. Symbolically, this means new aspects of our subconscious, feminine nature are being illuminated. With the Sun and Moon in Taurus [along with Mercury, Venus, Mars, and the South Node], this illumination will reveal a lot about we own; our natural resources, our possessions, our money, values, desires, talents, and other goodies we have at our disposal. By the same token, we have the pleasure of determining which of these goodies has gone bad. Considering everything we have to offer, it is more than okay to lighten the load. We are on the road to excellence, after all, so we cannot afford to be slowed down by extra baggage.
It is time for me to let go. Attachment, expectations, ideals. Tears fall as I type, but it is only right to release the tension. It is impossible to move forward if I am anywhere but here, so I decide right now to plant myself solidly, with my arms wide open, willing to accept the gifts God is granting me.
Let’s get it.