go there, but don’t stay: 8/3/14 [#MyBestWeek]

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one of the most gut-wrenching feelings is to desire something or someone so fervently only to have it be snatched away in plain sight. there is little we can do to overcome that anguish, so our only choice is to live with it, to feel it completely. cry if need be. it is important for us to go there, but it would be a mistake to stay. self-destruction and downward spirals are the results of festering sentiment that has found no outlet or expression. if we have it, we have to do something with it, or else it will do something to us.

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multitask mastery: 7/20/14 [#MyBestWeek]

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two hands are required to keep up a juggling act, so it is best that we pray for dexterity this week. after all, nobody wants to known as the one who dropped the ball, especially if that ball happens to be plural. that would just be a mess, wouldn’t it?

the development of expansive concentration will prove to be beneficial. when trying to cope with the madness of multiplicity, we can strengthen our attention to the small stuff by infusing it with the higher mind of awareness. that way we are able to focus on the task at hand without being blindsided by that thing that has been creeping on us from behind to topple the balance we worked so hard to strike. most of don’t have eyes in the backs of our heads, but we can still turn around every now and then to check up on all sides.

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the roots & the tree: capricorn full moon [#StarsAndSymbols]

one of the great things about roots is how they provide the tree with the support necessary to uphold its composure as it climbs great heights. if there is no foundation, there is no growth. that said, the fullest way for the tree to honor its roots is to challenge itself to reach higher than it ever has. after all, isn’t that the purpose of planting seeds in the first place?

with the sun in cancer, we are focused on the acknowledgment of the deepest, most familiar facets of our personhood. to nourish and protect the life force within is the instinct that keeps each species going from generation to generation. It may not always make rational sense, but thanks to intuition and the assortment of other gifts stored away in our ancestral goodie bags, we know what we have to do at any given moment to preserve this fragile existence. to sustain our lineage is encoded in our dna.

before we get too comfortable, we must remember that no matter how well acclimatized we are, every season presents its challenges. without the occasional obstacle, the experience of life would be too subjective to sustain the dynamism of authentic expression in all its completeness. that is where the full moon in capricorn, which opposes the cancer sun, comes into play. we are feeling the subconscious call to endeavor toward the practical attainment of worldly accomplishment. our survival skills mean little if we do not at some point assume responsibility for the successful advancement of the family name beyond the home and into the stratosphere of society. the tangible achievements we need to satisfy this obscure hunger are the products of structure, goals, and concentrated motivation.

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a compassionate approach [#FreeWrite]

this is a follow-up or addendum of sorts to my previous My Best Week post, “the alchemist“…

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in order to be thorough in the process of exposing self-sabotaging behavioral compulsions, it is valuable for one to explore them without shame, but instead with genuine, nonjudgmental curiosity. denial of these urges is not as effective ultimately as it would be to let them happen as they do. if we are strong enough to take an objective assessment after all is said and done, with a forgiving approach rather than one of condemnation, we can determine the pros and cons of our potentially destructive tendencies in an efficient way that will surely help to redirect that same energy to be used as fuel for our inherent creativity. Continue reading

the alchemist: 6/29/14 [#MyBestWeek]

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it is easy this week for us to identify exactly where we are losing life force energy by giving away our power. there are many ways we keep ourselves powerless without even realizing it. in order to bring these unconscious tendencies into the realm of awareness, we must honestly assess the interactions and activities that leave us feeling drained.

the crash of disappointment that is experienced after the false fulfillment of temporary satisfaction is an indication that we are wasting our energy on instant gratification and superficially quick results rather than exercising the full potential and focused patience of true power. is it easy to believe that we become more powerful by controlling external circumstances, specifically the people in our environments, but that is untrue. by focusing on manipulation of the “other” to get what we want instead of trusting our ability to successfully navigate any possible scenario, we actually forfeit all self-control, rendering us powerless. when things don’t go our way, many of us hold grudges that affect us adversely while the objects of our contempt are living their lives, unbothered and empowered by our resentment. obsession, addiction, attachment, the list goes on, and these are all ways we unknowingly relinquish our personal power. as the self-sabotage becomes clearer, the next logical step is to change our ways.

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sunny w/ a chance of shade: cancer new moon [#StarsAndSymbols]

there is a transformation that occurs when we express ourselves fearlessly in the moment. the responses that are elicited by living truthfully are testimonies to our inherent power, but only if we claim it as our own. self-engagement can be so enrapturing that it is startling to be confronted by the inevitable reaction of disagreement, as others try to solve our riddles, searching the depths for that thing within us that triggers their own feelings of uneasiness. in those moments it is important for us to recognize our own individual influences, as we are capable of affecting our environment, no matter how our respective presences are received by other people. if we choose to dim our lights and shy away from the awesomeness of authenticity in order to manipulate the external factors, our power is projected, giving it away for others to wield as they wish. when we risk our emotional comfort by embracing the sometimes controversial originality of this existence as it is embodied within us all, despite the adversity we may face from those suffering from their own psychologically projected traumas, then we begin to transcend the darkness with the dawn of limitless light.

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the new moon is exact on June 26, 2014 at 4:08 AM EST in 5 degrees cancer, the mother of the zodiac. as always, the new moon is the beginning of a lunation [lunar cycle] prompted by the conjunction of the sun [ego expression] and moon [subconscious reaction], so it represents an initiation or a starting point. this is a chance to wipe the slate clean and start, and the quality of the start will relate to the realm of cancer [the experience of emotions]. when two planets come together in conjunction to unify as a single energy, the effect can be either volatile or harmonious, or both. it all depends on the other aspects.

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destiny’s obscurity: moon/north node conjunct [#StarsAndSymbols]

Women have played a major role in my life. Not just one woman, but women… plural. My parents weren’t together when I was born so my mother raised me as a single parent, and for the greater duration of the first decade of my life we lived with various relatives. My most impressionable years were molded by the women who surrounded me, older women to be more specific. It was like a community of mothers, each one with something unique to offer my childhood self. There were men around, uncles and whatnot, but interactions with male figures were never as affirming for me as the matriarchal exchanges.

Naturally, my interests aligned with what most people categorize as “girl stuff” when I was growing up. I loved Destiny’s Child and Disney films like The Little Mermaid. The majority of my friends were girls, especially the ones closest to me. I was a boy, and I had guy friends, but I was never one of the boys. As I made my way through primary school, I faced my fair share of judgment from people who didn’t understand or agree with the way I expressed myself in accordance with my gender, and there were times where I judged myself for not being manly enough. At this point in my life, I still have to make a conscious effort to silence the voice of gender policeman that I allowed to invade my headspace, but everyday I learn to embrace my femininity more than before. Despite whoever has disagreed with my lifestyle, I know now that there is nothing wrong with the way I am, and I believe that my childhood conditioning was meant to prepare me for greatness. Allow me to explain myself…

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There is an aspect in my natal chart that clues me into the grand scheme of who I am in regards to my resonance with the feminine influence. I have a moon/north node conjunction! The conjunction is an astrological aspect that is equivalent to a union and it occurs when two celestial bodies and/or astronomical points come together as one amplified, integrated force. In other words, two separate energies blend and work as one. So what exactly does a conjunction between the moon and the imply that could possibly explain my lifelong interest in the alluring, creative, nurturing essence of opposite sex?

******* FUN FACT: the moon and the north node are currently conjunct in libra as I type… how appropriate! *******

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like a prayer: gemini new moon [#StarsAndSymbols]

the most stimulating conversations are the ones that do not require an open mouth. an open heart is all that is needed to send and receive messages. it happens with the people we love, our best friends, those closest to us, and even strangers sometimes. we talk without saying a word, and more importantly, we listen to that which arises out of silence. this is a sign of divine communication.

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4/6/14: fight in the fog [#MyBestWeek]

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it gets hard to see when straddling the line between the conscious and unconscious. our eyes take a while to adjust when they have just been dreaming, so it may seem as though we’re out of focus. neptune is said to represent clairvoyance, but if we are not spiritually inclined then the physical vision may be slightly unclear. confusion is a symptom of impaired eyesight and this haziness can be frustrating for those of us who are trying to see what lies ahead. even though we’re not in bed, it still feels incredibly unreal.

indistinction leaves us with a lot of options. at any given interval, life as we know it could go either way, which means that we must be quick-witted enough to know when to switch it up. things are changing at the drop of a dime and versatility is the only way not to get left behind. gemini is the sign of duality, so we must learn to be flexible because anything could happen. the twins are in a constant state of excitement as there is always new stimulation to be experienced, but they can just as well scatter themselves thanks to their short attention spans. if there is an absolute answer, it will take every bit of concentration.

to exacerbate matters, commitment is not in the immediate equation. we are too equal-minded to grow attached to one interest, so our diverse associations spread us thin. the 11th house is indicative of our hopes and wishes for the future in all their varied plurality. being connected to the current of an electrical outlet is bound to bring us some of the most shocking revelations from the highest source of power, but it takes great effort to sustain the singularity of such lucid insights.

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how to say ouch: mercury/chiron [#StarsAndSymbols]

i’ve been locking my hair for a little over a year now, and despite what some may think, such a style can require some heavy maintenance for the past however many hours, i’ve endured the arduous process of getting my hair done, which for me consists of re-twisting what hair people refer to as new growth. growing up in the era of lil’ bow wow inspired boy cornrows, i dread the moment i sit and submit to the torture, as i am what they call “tender-headed.” in other words, my sensitive head hurts a little too easily.

“does any of this hurt?” asked my mom, aka my part-time hair stylist, as the hair in her hand pulled on the perimeter of my scalp.

“yes,” i replied with false placidity, like a professional pain-taker.

“well, i wouldn’t know, you ain’t say nothin!” she admitted. “you gotta let people know when you’re in pain.”

such a simple conversation struck me like a lightning bolt. for whatever reason i have learned how to grin and bear it, thinking this as some sort of strength when it’s more like denial. aside from situations beyond our control, we allow everything that is inflicted upon us when we give silent permission, so it is our responsibility to vocalize the discomfort we feel at any given moment.

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