go there, but don’t stay: 8/3/14 [#MyBestWeek]

Screen shot 2014-01-13 at 3.46.03 AM

one of the most gut-wrenching feelings is to desire something or someone so fervently only to have it be snatched away in plain sight. there is little we can do to overcome that anguish, so our only choice is to live with it, to feel it completely. cry if need be. it is important for us to go there, but it would be a mistake to stay. self-destruction and downward spirals are the results of festering sentiment that has found no outlet or expression. if we have it, we have to do something with it, or else it will do something to us.

CAM00754 Continue reading

refine my mind: 6/8/14 [#MyBestWeek]

Screen shot 2014-01-13 at 3.46.03 AM

The potential to maximize this week lies in the efficiency and effectiveness of our cognitive processes. Focusing on the improvement of our mental faculties will yield the results that will assist us in realizing our highest potential. The way we think, the way we transmit messages, the way we make sense of and apply what we learn affects us personally, as well as those with whom we come in contact, so it is in our best interest to fix what we find to be faulty in regards to our systems of information.

get-attachment-3

Continue reading

my best week: 2/2/14 [#StarsAndSymbols]

Screen shot 2014-01-13 at 3.46.03 AM

*******

“aphrodite lady seashell bikini, garden panty… VENUS!” the sensual Goddess of Love is setting the mood. the focus is an equal balance of “me” and “you”, considering venus represents the feminine principle of accommodation. the give and the take, the attraction and the repulsion, the have and the have not; all venusian. meeting someone halfway in some sort of rendezvous is highly likely. i also pulled the 7th house, which is associated with venus, so there is no doubt that the exchange of partnership is paramount.

spiritual is pisces, the next card pulled. all things unseen, the things of our dreams and nightmares and illusions, are all piscean. the fish represent the universal oneness that connects us all like an invisible network of heartstrings. impressionable and compassionate, pisces heals other people by absorbing their negativity. selflessness, while obviously admirable, can overwhelm, and sometimes all we want to do is get away. try as we might, it is not easy to escape this sphere of existence (beware of indulgence in addictive substances!) and the burden of the outside energy we may feel obliged to assume. like a lifejacket for the sinking, it may feel like we’re struggling just below the surface, trying desperately to stay afloat.

IMG00091-20140203-1716

Continue reading

venus retrograde: possession [#StarsAndSymbols]

at what point does what we own begin to own us? how does a possession simply adopt the audacity to possess its owner? all that is not presently appreciated has the ability to depreciate our sense of self-esteem…

we have all we need and them some, so it is surely a sin to let anything go to waste. to embrace what is in our grasp or to give it away is the decision we must make, lest we be greedy and succumb to the insecurity of the hoarder. that which we believe to be held sometimes has a hold on us. naturally, when we are too scared to take out the trash, the smell of garbage will fill the air. why should we be afraid to let go when we have always had all that is required?

this what i have been feeling since venus has been retrograde. as you already know, venus [the goddess of love] clues us into our relations with other people, the give and the take (or lack thereof?), how we share our stuff (physical and non-physical). all of this, of course, is determined by what we hold close to our hearts, our values. venus is what we enjoy, what is pleasurable, what is entertaining, what we attract based on what we have to offer. when venus appears to be moving backward in her retrograde is when we are consumed by circumstances that call for us to (metaphorically and/or literally) clean out our closets.

Continue reading

venus retrograde: artFLOP or SMARTpop? [#StarsAndSymbols]

For those who are not aware, I am emotionally invested in pop culture. I was raised by Disney films, Nickelodeon, and early 90s R&B radio. Most of my perception of reality is a byproduct of mass media programming. A lot of my interests are superficial in this way. This is my truth.

However superficial, I’ve learned with the help of my own imagination to find the philosophical depth in the realm of the popular. All things considered, I believe the performers of the mainstream are much too valuable a commodity to the political agendas of the industry not to be aligned in their careers with the occult. Working with the cycles of nature [astrology, numerology, etc.] serves to maximize the success of potential energies at the perfect, most divinely ordered moments in time. Even if the entertainers themselves are not aware of the rituals to which they are subject, I believe the corporations revere the magick of metaphysics.

Of course, some of these entertainers are actually artists, who appear to be more than conscious of the spells they cast. These magicians work with their iconography, not for it. One that comes to mind is Lady Gaga, who I laud for what I perceive to be her lucidity, which to me is what differentiates her for most of her peers. As an artist, I admire her because she seems to play on the question of “Who is watching whom?”, as the audience unknowingly reveals more about itself in its responses than does she in her creative expression. Or does she?

lady-gaga-artpop-1384296044 Continue reading

friday the 13th [#StarsAndSymbols]

Between BEYONCÉArapahoe High, and a suddenly snowy Egypt, social media has been quite abuzz with the latest, greatest, most fatefully unexpected occurrences. While the circumstances du jour encompass the spectrum from pole to pole, there is no question that today has been quite sensational. Is it any wonder that it is Friday the 13th?

friday

Ever wonder why 13 was considered unlucky? I mean, as a society we even go as far as to skip the 13th floor in high rise buildings (even though we all know the 14th floor is obviously the 13th in a tacky mustache-disguise). Oh, and since we’re questioning shit, why is it that 13 becomes a bitch on wheels when she falls on Friday? Friday, of all fucking days, gets a bad rap when paired with the number 13. What about Tuesday? Tuesday can be a pretty shitty day, worse than Monday to me. Tuesday is like turning 20; it’s just in the way, pointless. Friday is cool like last day of school! What’s the big idea superstition? Explain yourself!

Continue reading

north node/saturn/venus conjunct [#StarsAndSymbols]

A field of fragrant flowers is unforgiven by me at the offensive sight of a tiny fruit fly. A single stray note slaughters the sonic sweetness of the most sophisticated symphony. A night of noteworthy novelty means nothing if even one nuance goes neglected.

Sometimes I let the smallest things get under my skin.

Earlier in the week, I let something someone said get to me. My mom is an employee of NJ Transit, so I occasionally ride the bus to work for free, like this past Sunday. As I was catching up with the bus operator, a family friend, the topic of school came up as it usually does. When asking about my younger sister’s senior year of high school and impending undergraduate adventure, she expressed her strong suggestion for my sister to attend a state school to avoid making “the same mistake” I made. The same mistake.

tumblr_mfu3j3Y5tO1rx8xito1_500

One man’s mistake is another man’s destiny. The difference depends on one’s capacity to create solutions from perceived problems. It’s no secret that I’ve put myself in some situations that were more difficult than necessary, but I don’t believe them to be “mistakes”, because I am still here and I am still learning lessons. Everything happens for a reason as far as I am concerned, and as long as it is happening to me, I’m the only one who has the right to determine whether or not it is a mistake – whatever it is.

Continue reading

mercury & venus: shoe shopping [#StarsAndSymbols]

It’s not a big deal, but I haven’t bought myself a new pair of shoes in almost a year. It’s not that I need another pair, because I don’t (and need is a strong word), but I should buy one for variation’s sake. It’s not like I have to wear something new everyday. Believe me, I don’t. Honestly, I can wear (and have worn) the same 3 outfits for a month or even a whole season (don’t come my summer wardrobe). Don’t even get me started on shoes.

I don’t know how to go shoe shopping. Obviously I know how to swipe my debit card, but what I mean is that my process actually more complicated than it should be, at least compared to other people’s. It’s weird. I don’t care to follow trends, but even if I did, I would have to ask the salesperson or my little sister to pick out a pair for me, the mere thought of which makes me feel like the “cool dad” who tries and fails to be hip in the midst of an embarrassing quarter-life crisis. The times I have succumbed to the peer pressure of having the latest, greatest footwear have been unfulfilling, as trends are fleeting. Being perfectly honest, something in my soul does not sit well when my style, or anything else, is prescribed.

Despite the urge I have to be unconventional, there is always the underlying apprehension of buying “bobos”. For those of you who are fortunate enough to have survived childhood without being bullied about your generic gear, the good girls of Urban Dictionary were generous enough to fill you in:

Generic, no-name shoes or even worse shoes with corny names (i.e. pro-wings, avia, sike (just glue it), four-stripe adidas, ragamuffinpinwheelsdeluxe. . .).
Bobos, they make your feet feel fine, Bobos, they cost a dollar ninety-nine. . .


Screen Shot 2013-07-16 at 1.11.51 PM

For the record, this is the first September that I am not scrambling to find new school clothes, because this the first September in nearly 20 years that I am not enrolled in some type of educational institution. Although the “dress to impress” compulsion I had dissipated in my college years, I would still try to buy something, just for the ritual of it all. Fortunately, I have no reason this year to subject myself to the painstaking process of picking an appropriate pair of pumps.

Continue reading

charm is me [poetry]

Charm is me
When I get you in a bind
Outshine your sun
I could make you go blind
I will black your eyes out
Just to increase your sense
My life is rich right now
I don’t be past tenses

Charm is me
When I turn on your lights
I will have you climbing poles
Still chasing that high
Look me dead in my eye
And say you don’t like it
Make you jump like thunder
Call me black lightning

charm = me pic

Charm is me
It’s my debutante pageant
If you hold my wand
I will trick you like magic
Bolt nuts ratchet
Leave my cash in the till
Oh boy, you look thirsty
You need a refill?

Continue reading