It’s always a joy to recollect a night out, especially on Day 2 of hangover-recovery. Moments, like the fragmented body parts of the rain-sunken possum floating face down in the flower-pot outside, seem to surface to the top of my consciousness at the most random moments (when I was trying to find a good position not to vomit, for example). Overall, I feel the night was a success, and I mean that in the most liver-inconsiderate way.
You see, I don’t go out very often, so when I do… I really go out. Now that I am currently not in college, I think I try to overcompensate when I get a rare chance to party. It’s like a have a point to prove. My point on Saturday was the VIP section at Haven, a new nightclub in Atlantic City’s Golden Nugget casino.
After not so subtly sneaking past the Cool Asians’ velvet rope and being subsequently removed, I proclaimed that I would be a VIP by the end of the night. Not that I’m not already Very Important, but um, HELLO…. bottle service and a seat! Who doesn’t want to sit and drink at a nightclub? Who doesn’t want to belong? Between breaking the dress code by wearing shorts (don’t ask me what happened to the pants I got in with), pole dancing during what I think was a sexy Rihanna song, and unsuccessfully VIP’ing myself, I knew I had to be a little more strategic, lest the security guard follow through on his threat to escort me out.
Finally, I spotted my savior. Across the dance-floor from the Cool Asians was a Hot Mom with an empty spot on her Very Important Couch. Instead of appearing thirsty and asking for a drink, I instead asked her if I could sit down next to her – you know, because I was sooo tired of dancing. Surprisingly, she agreed to let me have a seat, much to the disappointment of her not-as-hot friend who kept shaking her head at me.
Hot Mom invited me into her space like some of… mother. Without me having to ask, she poured me a drink as we introduced ourselves. Turns out she actually was a mother and she had bought out the VIP section for her friend’s birthday. I can’t recall her name, but she was nice and we are now Instagram friends. Like breast milk to a hungry baby, Hot Mom pacified my insatiable desire and made my Very Important Dream come true (does this sound Freudian to anyone else?).